Entertaining Angels Unaware
by The TRUE Angel of Music
Summary: ANGELS TRILOGY Falling into anxiety at the arrival of a mysterious letter, Leah writes to the only person she knows who can help her. Together, the two confront Leah's past, allowing their past love to emerge once more.
1. The Need To Be Alone

**AN: **My third fanfic. This is not a popular category for people to post fanfics in, but I remember reading these books for the first time and absolutely loving them. Plus, there was a disappointment in no sequel being made because the ending of the third left you in the blue. So yes, I am beginning something new once more. Ahead of time, I do not own any of the characters from The Angel Trilogy, however wonderful they all might be. Please read and tell me what you think. It has been so long since I have read these books, so yeah... if out of the blue, I randomly contradict something one way or another, don't feel shy to tell. Criticisms are always good, no matter how harsh they may be. Sometimes the most candid and frank reviews are the best. Once again, thanks to the lovely Dom Dom for introducing me to the wonderful world of fanfiction. It gives me an opportunity to just write and have fun with it. So yes... here I go...

* * *

**Entertaining Angels Unaware**

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers:

for thereby some have entertained

angels unawares."

-Hebrews 13:2

* * *

**Chapter 1. The Need To Be Alone**

It had been a grueling four years, but she had graduated.

A year had come by, and Leah was still adjusting to the life that still seemed so foreign. Though time had progressed, not stopping for her heartbreak, she had pulled through with half a thought, believing that perhaps someday she might wake up from the reality that surrounded her to find herself graduating high school again.

_Had it truly been five years? _Leah chewed on the end of her pen at her desk that took up the vast majority of her small room.

"Leah, honey?" Mrs. Hendrickson knocked on her door twice to let her presence be known. "I am almost finished with supper. It will begin at six o'clock sharp..."

"As always," Leah finished for her with a smile.

Mrs. Hendrickson did not care what you did the rest of the day, or where you went, so long as you were there at six punctually, for dinner.

As hospitable as a person could get, Mrs. Hendrickson had not hesitated to take Leah into her home. Though the five bedroom house was far too large for just the two of them, Leah felt almost as if she were concealed within these walls as they slowly closed in on her. The quaint neighborhood of New Albany had welcomed her amiably, all smiles and joy the day that she had moved in to the room Mrs. Hendrickson was willing to rent to her.

"It's been a year," Leah sighed at the thought, watching a redbird that rested on the windowsill outdoors. "I am in the prime of my life and I already feel so old!"

To her carping, the bird only fluttered off to a tree past the white picket fence of Mrs. Hendrickson's garden. The small brick ranch was situated in a quaint neighborhood where everyone knew one another and visited often, giving the neighbors pastries and vegetables. Such relationships troubled Leah more and more, especially when Mrs. Hendrickson was out and she was forced to answer the door and greet the neighbors with a wan smile.

"Any lucky with the job hunting, dear?" Mrs. Hendrickson inquired between her bites of mashed potatoes and gravy. "No dear. You are not cutting the roast the right way. Do as I am doing, Leah, darling."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hendrickson." Leah offered her a small smile before Mrs. Hendrickson nodded in satisfaction. "I haven't really found anything I'm interested in."

"Well, what are you interested in? Perhaps I could help? An old lady like myself must have some contacts in such a town as New Albany, you know."

"Thank you," Leah hesitated by chewing her food slowly before proceeding. "I am not exactly sure what interests me, if I am to be honest."

"There must be something…"

"I don't know…" Leah lowered her head, not wanting to discuss anything further.

"Your mother called today," Mrs. Hendrickson brought up to break the awkwardness. "She asked for me to tell you to call her back today. She said that it did not matter how late."

"I'll be sure to call her later," Leah responded.

"A letter also came for you today."

"Oh," though her heart fluttered in hope, her mind knew that she should not get her hopes up. "Is it from anyone you know?"

"Anyone I know?" the old woman laughed at the though. "Leah, darling, the only other person I know that might write to you is your mother. Everyone else is a stranger to me."

"Oh," Leah drank some water in the hopes that it might stop the rapid beating of her heart that had taken over. "May I pleased be excused for a -"

Her request was cut short by knocking on the door.

"Could you get that, Leah?" Mrs. Hendrickson requested, standing up and picking up her dish to bring to the sink. "I am going to begin washing dishes now."

"No problem," Leah got up and headed to the door.

A college friend- her only college friend- stood at the door in a hot pink halter dress. Large hoop earrings cast the remaining light from the sunset off in various directions as it reflected from the silver of the hoops. Hair tousled in a pile on top of her head, she held out her arms playfully and grinned a mouth of white teeth between scarlet lips.

"Thought I would steal you away for the night for some fun, Leah-baby."

"I'm not sure if Mrs. Hendrickson would approve, Jay."

Darjeeling Campton was the wild girl on the college campus Leah had attempted. Known for engaging in various scandalous acts, Leah had been surprised when her mother had fallen in love with her new friend, thinking her "just the think that you need right now." Though the times at college had certainly taught her some responsibility, Jay had not been so anxious to toss aside her outrageous fun-loving habits as soon as college came to an end.

"Come on now, Leah." Jay laughed. "We both know Mrs. Hendrickson does not care what you do with your life, so long as you make sure your presence known during dinner. That's why I came right after I knew you would be done. And, if you remember, Mrs. Hendrickson likes me, as does you mom, so I don't think she would mind you going out with me for the night."

"Although I will never understand why," Leah grinned, opening the door wider for Jay to walk in. "Mrs. Hendrickson, Jay is here. She is going to take me out for the night. We are going to go upstairs for me to grab my purse and a jacket, and I'll be going."

"Have fun, dear!" Mrs. Hendrickson hollered. "If you must be out late, stay safe. Tell Jay that I give her my hello as well. Such a nice girl!"

"Did you hear that, I really _am_ a nice girl." Jay beamed as she entered my room, gaping at the clutter that she saw. "It does not look like you cleaned your room since the day you moved in."

"I probably haven't," Leah remarked, moving a blanket on my mattress to find a jacket. "I am always up and about, I never have the time. Besides, when I am in here, cleaning my room is always the last thing on my mind."

"If you had a dead body in here, the cops would never find it." Jay commented, frowning whenLeah headed to walk out of her room. "Where are you going?"

"Aren't we leaving?"

"In _that_?" Jay referred toLeah's outfit.

"What's wrong with it?" Leah questioned defensively. "I happen to like these jeans, and this black tank isn't stained or torn or anything. It's in better shape than half of the clothes you see scattered on the floor."

"Suit yourself," Jay shrugged, stepping over a heap of clothes before exiting. "But I doubt you are going to find any men in clothes like that."

"Is that what this is about?" Leah said after she had locked the front door behind her to enter the passenger sat of Jay's convertible black jaguar. "You think that you are going to steal me away for an evening to go party with all of New Albany's bachelor population in the hopes that one of them might be crazy enough to get together with one of us?"

"You're a pretty gal, so I guess you don't really have to worry." Jay remarked, starting the car and pulling out. "And I am glamorous enough to get enough guys for the both of us, no matter how horrible your fashion sense is nowadays."

* * *

Night had already settled over New Albany when Leah entered the hall of a great house that was settled by itself in the wilderness of one of the many forests that filled up the town. Looking up, she saw people chatting as they leaned against the banister of the grand staircase, cans of beer in their hand. She tried to brush aside the empty feeling that settled in her stomach, making her uneasy, but it only accentuated further when the host walked over.

Willard Burnaby had graduated a year before them. His parents, both rich beyond their small-town comprehension, had bought him this house as a graduation and he never wasted an opportunity to continue the celebration by hosting parties every other weekend. To see him stand before her and Jay, his black hair ruffled from whatever havoc he had been investing his time in so far as he grinned like a fool, Leah put a hand over her stomach when his cobalt blue eyes looked over at her.

"Hey Leah," he smiled. "You alright?"

"She'll be fine," Jay answered for her, knowing well enough Leah would probably not say anything at all to Will's inquiry. "Quite a gathering you got here."

"I can't help it if my parents bought me too big of a house," Will put it. "These parties are the only way to fill up all of the rooms."

"I can see it's been working," Jay said, laughing when she saw a few people draped over the back of the couches, half passed out. "Anyone die from too much excitement yet?"

"No," Will laughed good-heartedly. "But with you here, they might."

"How flattering," Jay leaned forward, pinching him on the cheek before kissing him on the same spot. "I'll be sure to do the best I can, buddy."

Left alone when Jay pursued a group of guys playing billiards in the next room, Leah held her breath, left alone with Will. He did the once-over, looking her up and down, before grinning shamelessly.

"No outrageous outfit?"

"I thought Jay was outrageous enough for the both of us," Leah replied.

"Very true," Will admitted, turning to the counter where an ice chest was filled with cans of beer. "You want a drink?"

"I didn't drink in college, and I don't think I'll be doing it in the near future either." Leah shook her head. "Sorry I am such a bore."

"Not at all," Will now leaned against the counter, his elbows resting on the granite. "You know, you sure do pull off the black and blue jeans look. Much more classy than most of the ladies here tonight."

"I hope you're not talking about Jay. She would be heart-broken if you thought bad of her outfit. She thrives upon looking glamorous."

"And no one would think she was anything but it," Will agreed. "How _is_ Jay nowadays? She been up to anything?"

"Not exactly sure. Jay decided to randomly stop by and take me out for the evening." Leah told him candidly. "I haven't seen her in a few weeks. Maybe a month."

"I see," Will nodded. "How about yourself? What are you up to?"

"The usual," Leah smiled to herself. "Finding myself. The works."

"You've been doing that for a year," Will chuckled. "You've always been such a hard-worker. I'd think you would'vefound yourselfby now."

"I'm in no great rush, I guess."

"Well… you're not always going to be young forever."

"I know," Leah lowered her eyes. "I already feel old."

"You sure don't look it."

"I hope not," Leah laughed. "Do you have water? Bottled water, please."

"Maybe in the fridge," they walked into the kitchen, where Leah turned crimson, feeling numerous men burning holes at her sight. "Here you go."

"Thanks," Leah fiddled with the bottle for awhile, her nerves getting the better at her because the eyes had failed to leave her.

"Need help?" Will did not wait for an answer as he grabbed the bottle and opened it for her. "Here you go again."

"Thanks again."

"You want to step outside?" Will suggested.

"Outside… yes." Leah nodded.

Underneath a tree, sitting at a bench, Leah's nerves calmed down as she drank half of the bottle of water. She hated how those guys had stared at her as if she were a slab of meat and they were wolves, thirsty for something to fill their hunger. So lost in her restlessness was Leah, that she jumped when Will set a hand on her arm.

"Sorry," Leah apologized. "I haven't been out in awhile. I almost forgot how hungry guys can be at times."

"Talk to me, Leah." Will stated plainly, an arm draping over the back of the bench as he turned his body to face her. "You are on the edge right now. It seems like if we're not careful, you might fall off it."

"There's nothing to talk about." Leah looked down, her fingers strumming the water bottle.

"We used to talk. You used to trust me with these things. Have times changed so much that we cannot even talk like we used to, Leah?"

"I still don't know what I want to do with my life."

"Is that it?" Will laughed. "That's perfectly fine, Leah. Pretty much everyone here has no idea what they are going to do with their lives at this time."

"It's not that I don't have an idea," Leah said slowly. "It's just… I don't want to get an idea that something might actually happen when it probably won't."

"What do you mean?"

"I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"Leah, if you're worried about going out there and exerting yourself, don't waste your time. I have not seen you fail at anything yet. You tackle every task put in front of you and make everyone proud. I worry more for whoever is your boss because you are likely to take their place in no time."

"But what if that doesn't happen?" Leah looked up, her dense eyelashes framing eyes that were filled with an uncertainty, fear, and anxiety. "What if I become so convinced that it will all work out and it doesn't? I don't want to go through that, Will."

"Let me help you, Leah." Will offered. "My parents have connections. They could help you. I could try to pull strings as well. Any job you want. Just tell me."

"I'll be fine."

"You don't seem fine, Leah."

"Oh… what do I know." Leah laughed meekly. "I am probably getting all ruffled up over nothing. Count on me to do something like that. It tends to happen when you go insane, you know."

"You're not insane," Will used his other hand to set on hers, over the water bottle, as his eyes bore into hers sternly. "Really, you aren't. You are magnificent. The most magnificent person I've ever met."

"Why do you always say these things?"

"Because they are true." Will answered candidly. "Why did it not work out between us, Leah? What did I do wrong? I would go back to you in an instant, if you would let me, but you won't. Why, Leah?"

"I just… need to be alone right now."

"You do know that I would never let you be alone, if you would give me the chance, right?"

"I know, Will." Leah sighed. "But you aren't the first guy that gave me hope like that before."

* * *

When Leah dropped on her mattress in the early morning when the sun was bound to rise within the hour, she felt as if sleep would claim her any moment. It was only when she turned to her side and heard a crumble beneath her that her eyes shot open and she sat up to find an envelope resting beneath her.

_Mrs. Hendrickson probably left it up here for me, _Leah thought, smiling at the idea of the woman entering the chaos of her room. _I wonder what she thought of all this._

Turning the envelope over, she felt her blood go cold at the handwriting. It was only when her eyes drifted over to the return address that she was convinced that her heart had stopped completely.


	2. All Of Life Wondering

**AN: **No idea when I will update next, but I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Sorry I am leaving Leah to be this complete anxiety case, but I promise I will explain it in future chapters to clarify.

* * *

**Chapter 2. All Of Life Wondering**

Leah fumbled with the phone five minutes later, realizing her mom's invitation was true, and yet doubting it all the same. When her mom picked up after the third ring, her voice groggy, Leah immediately regretted calling so late… or early.

"Mom?" Leah inhaled slowly, staring down at the letter. "You said I could call no matter how late."

"Leah?" her mom's voice suddenly woke up and became concerned. "What happened? Is something wrong? Do I need to drive down?"

"It's just…" Leah closed her eyes, her heat beating faster as she thought about it. "I got another letter today."

"A letter?" her mom's voice softened instantaneously. "Oh Leah, I thought that he wouldn't find you there. That's why you moved. Do you know how he found you?"

"How would I know?" Leah questioned defensively. "I thought you would know."

"I'm driving down," Leah bit her lip as her mom noted off the plans she would do today to insure she would be able to come. "…and I will call my lawyer. Our lawyer. If this is some load of legal business, we will give him a fight. Maybe I will pick up the lawyer on the way."

"Mom…" Leah closed her eyes, breathing very slowly. "It's going to be alright. I'll be fine. You don't have to come down to Mrs. Hendrickson's. I'll just forget about it. Maybe he will too."

"But he should take the hint. Realize you have no intentions of contacting him or meeting him."

"He probably thinks he deserves that much, at least."

"Not with my baby," Leah could picture her mom protecting her, wearing large red boxing gloves, ready to macerate any person that might possibly hurt her daughter. "He walked out on you, Leah. I think you should be able to decide _if_ and _when_ you want him in your life, if ever you do."

"I know, mom." Leah turned on her side, hugging her pillow. "Mom… I think I am going to go now. I haven't exactly slept tonight quite yet, and it's starting to take its toll on me right now. I feel half out of it at the moment."

"You haven't slept?" her mom's voice rose, about to start some sort of lecture regarding Leah's health, but then it softened. "You know that is not wise for your health, Leah. Maybe I should come down anyway…"

"Mom, I'll be fine." Leah stated sternly. "I was… I went out with Jay last night to a party. It took awhile to leave. I got back about five minutes before I called you."

"A party?" her mom sounded relieved at the thought of her partying and doing God knows what over Leah being safe at Mrs. Hendrickson's, not being able to fall asleep. "That must've been fun. That's good. Go out and have a good time, Leah. I always knew Jay would be good for you."

"Oh yes, Jay was very good for me." Leah pictured Jay laughing boisterously last night, leaving half-way through with some fellow she had been kissing flirtatiously for about an hour after their first hello. "She had a great time too."

"That's always great to hear, Leah."

"Mom, I need to go." Leah yawned, drifting in and out of consciousness. "I really am falling asleep."

"Alright, sweet dreams."

"I'll try…" Leah turned off her phone, drifting away into sleep.

* * *

"It's not much, but it will give you something to do until you find a real job." Mrs. Hendrickson explained to Leah when she returned from the house in back of the picket fence. "The Gorgon's are a very friendly family, and it will be good for you to meet new people. Your only visitor has been Jay, and it would probably do you some good to get a few other friends. The Gordon's have a son your age, you know. He's off in college right now though. A medical student. Imagine that. He'll be quite a success once he graduates and does his internship and is on his own. His parents could not be prouder, I am sure."

"I don't know…"

Something about the idea of spending her afternoons in a boarded up stable, the only thing more unbearable than the heat being the stench, did not sound very inviting to Leah.

"Just give it a shot," Mrs. Hendrickson coaxed. "If worst comes to worst, you can just tell the Gordon's you are not interested after the first few tries. They're very understandable, and cleaning stables can be tedious work."

"I don't know."

"Come now, Leah." Mrs. Hendrickson looked over her shoulder from where she stood at the counter, chopping vegetables from her garden. "It can't hurt to give it a try, you know."

"I know," Leah looked over at the stables she had came from, completely visible since only a small picket fence separated it from Mrs. Hendrickson's. "It just… gives bad memories, I guess."

"Sometimes it is best to face your demons, deary."

"I know."

"Did you ever read your letter?"

"What letter?"

"The one that came in yesterday."

"Oh," Leah fumbled with the bottom of her t-shirt, already smudged with some dirt from her venture in the stables. "It wasn't important. Just junk-mail, really."

"Feel free to tell me anything, if you need to talk, Leah dear."

"Thank you," Leah said before walking upstairs.

* * *

For hours she would spend her days staring at the blank paper on her desk, chewing on the top of a pen. Figuring out which small thought within her mind she could possibly use to write out what she felt seemed far more arduous than anything else. It was surprising how rapid time flew by when you were lost within your own thoughts, swirling in your head like a hurricane as you struggled to grab a piece of hair flying in the wind.

Even now, gazing at the paper and strumming her fingers on her desktop, she sighed in frustration. There was so much she could say. So much that had occurred over the years. Why could she not bring herself to say it?

_Because I do not want him to think that it all meant nothing because he wasn't in my life_, Leah breathed deeply, chewing her pen top like a ritual. _That I would give up everything for the chance to be with him again._

"Leah!" Mrs. Hendrickson called. "You have another visitor!"

"When did I suddenly become the popular person?"

Leah questioned to herself as she descended the staircase to find Jay standing in the entrance once more, dressed more appropriately in a beige skirt that ended at her knees with a white blouse. Jay reached for Leah and dragged her outside, slamming the door behind her.

"We need to talk," Jay said, pulling her into her car once more.

"Where are we going?" Leah asked, watching the scenery they passed.

"No idea," Jay replied, grabbing her sunglasses and putting them on. "Just driving around aimlessly, while you talk to me."

"About what?"

"About Will, who else?" Jay looked over at her now, her eyes staring at her from atop her sunglasses. "I saw you both last night, sitting on that bench. You were crying. And don't you tell me it was for no reason, Leah Lewis-Hall. I can read you like a book and even if I might not know what has you feeling like you do, I know when you are down. Which is basically most of the time right now."

"I really can't help it, Jay."

"Yes, you can."

"I just can't get over it…" Leah closed her eyes. "I thought that he was out of my life for good. Why is he trying to come back?"

"Ethan?" Jay took off her sunglasses now, holding them out with one hand on the wheel. "Leah, I thought you had gotten over him ages ago. In college, you never thought about him. We were the life of the party. Something happened when we graduated. What?"

"Not Ethan," Leah shook her head. "Although I _have_ been thinking about him a lot lately, but not because I haven't moved on or anything, Jay, if that's what you think. He kind of went through something similar that I am going through, and I was wondering what he would do in my position."

"And what position is that, Leah?" Jay groaned. "You keep evading the question that I want, you do know that, right?"

"I don't know if I can bring myself to say it," Leah said. "I think that maybe if I don't say it or bring it up, maybe it isn't really there."

"Not the way to handle it, Leah." Jay corrected. "And I know that you know that. Come one, you are a complete bull when something comes up. Just flash your horns, maybe give them a butt or two with them to keep them away, and you will be fine, like always. We all miss you."

"I know. I just wish it was that simple."

"Simple?" Jay laughed. "Honey, you can't get any simpler than this. The sooner you can come to terms with whatever it is you are going through, since I don't think you have any intention of telling what it is that is bothering you, the sooner you can move on with life. The sooner you'll be out there, finding a job and kicking butt, ready to seize the topin whatever it is you're doing. The sooner you might put forward more effort to make your life the best it can possibly be. The sooner you can spend more time with Will who is head over heels, as we both know, with you and just waiting for the day you will give him a second glance. Come on, Leah. I would try to help you all I can. Beneath this party girl is someone you can take serious, and you know it. We could talk about anything in college. All of our embarrassing moments, doing I don't even remember half of the time. Can it be any worse than accidentally setting someone's dorm room on fire by knocking over a candle on a table that was pretty much full of spilled alcohol?"

"Jay," Leah looked over, pain clearly painted upon her pallid face. "Please. I will tell you when I'm ready to, but right now, it's just something I need to keep to myself. I am still sorting it all out and figuring out what I want to do. I need time."

"Well, you have your life ahead of you." Jay reminded. "Be sure not to spend your whole life dragging this around with you."

"I don't think it will come to that…" Leah's voice faded, as uncertainty passed over her.

_Will I spend all of my life wondering about all this? _Leah frowned. _I can't. I won't. _

But the more she thought of it, the more her hope seemed to fade.


	3. Happiness In A Stable

**Chapter 3. Happiness In A Stable**

The stables called for Leah to wake up early in the morning, far earlier than her usual noon-time alarm clock that was Mrs. Hendrickson. Grumbling, she just slipped on her sneakers and a jacket, walking over to the Gordon stable in her pajamas. The dewy grass made the bottoms of her pajamas wet, and she shivered as she entered the stable, ready to feed the horses.

It was almost eerie how silent the stables were when Leah entered. The only sound being Leah's feet hitting the soft dirt of the stables and the crunch of straw made her uneasy. When a horse would suddenly shudder as she passed, blowing air from its nostrils, Leah would jump, afraid to find a stall slam open as a horse charged at her.

Approaching the last stall, Leah shielded her eyes from the sun that had begun to shine through. The horse in its stall snorted, and she heard its hooves pounding on the ground, as startled by her sudden movement than she was of its.

"It's alright," Leah stared into deep black eyes of a white horse that had a caramel colored spot on its right cheek and, if she were not afraid of reaching out and frightening the horse more, she would touch it. "I'm just giving you something to chow on for awhile. Food is always good to have."

When she opened its stall, the horse hurried to the end of the stall. Leah gaped at how large this stall was over all the others she had seen and she hurried to pour in the food so she would leave and the horse's fearful gaze at her would dissipate. Closing the door, she looked in, watching to see if the horse would calm down.

Its head shook back and forth and she smiled, now noticing its mane was the same color as the mark on its cheek. Sunlight from cracks in the stall made light flicker in its black eyes, and the horse slowly walked over, its head close enough to the opening for Leah to reach out a few inches and stroke it.

"I don't want to frighten you," Leah told the horse. "That is the last thing I would want to do."

Slowly holding out her hand, she laughed at how she was the one to flinch at her fingers brushing the horse's head and the horse stood still nonchalantly. She was surprised at the velvety feeling of the horse's coat. Touching the mark with one finger, Leah grinned, feeling as if she should do something in return for this pleasure the horse had provided her.

"How about tomorrow I bring you an apple?" Leah suggested and nodded her head when the horse stared at her and blinked its eyes. "I will take that as a yes. So it is a deal then."

Returning from the stables, Leah felt rejuvenated. Ready to tackle the world, she got ready, actually spending time to look decent and put on more make-up than the usual puff of powder here and there. Slipping into a white flowered sundress that hugged her waist and then flowed down mid-thigh, she felt is if she were capable of doing anything she had a hankering to do.

When Mrs. Hendrickson announced a visitor, Leah skipped down the steps, smiling at how her dress flowed out with each step and she knew how excited Jay would be to see her.

Instead of the usual visitor for the past two days, Leah saw Will's willing smile. He waved timidly, as if not expecting how she might react to his presence in her home with Mrs. Hendrickson. Walking over, she could see the surprise in Will's eyes at seeing her in an outfit that she would have been wearing were she still in college. Before she had begun to close herself in.

"Do you like?" Leah twirled around and laughed as her skirt flew about as well. "Don't you think this dress is great? I love how it flies out like that. It makes me feel fun."

"I thought I might steal you for the day," Will requested, raising his eyebrows. "Do you think you're up to it?"

"I'm always up for some fun," Leah jumped back upstairs to grab a purse and slip into some sandals.

"How have you been?" Will asked, looking over for a moment while he was driving. "You were a wreck the last time we chatted. Feeling better?"

"I guess," Leah reached into her purse and proceeded to applying lipstick. "Mrs. Hendrickson has me helping out at the Gordon's stables until I find a job. Although I wasn't so reluctant at first, I am actually enjoying it."

"That's great," Will grinned. "I'm glad to see you're at it again, Leah. I was worried for awhile that you wouldn't feel any better."

"Everyone has their ups and downs," Leah laughed.

_I just hope this happiness lasts for awhile…_

"Yeah," Will nodded. "Any idea where you want to go?"

"You have nothing planned?"

"I like being spontaneous," Will innocently defended. "It makes life more interesting and exciting for everyone that way."

"I suppose."

"What's this?" Will chuckled. "Leah Lewis-Hall, the woman who didn't know what she would do with her life a few days ago, or how she might feel the following day, is now suddenly doubting the life of spontaneity?"

"You know me, Will." Leah shrugged playfully. "Always coming out of the blue to do something no one would have expected. That's me."

"I would believe it," Will laughed. "You did that all through college."

"Can you believe we've been out of college for more than one year," Leah threw back her head in laughter at her mistake. "Two for you, of course."

"I don't think I've seen you like this for awhile, Leah." Will reached over and patted her shoulders. "Welcome back."

"Glad to be back in my skin again as well," Leah suddenly felt a pit in her stomach, as uncertainty on how long this would last settled in for digestion. "Well, you know what I think?"

"Do I want to know?"

"I think you would."

"Alright. Then what do you think?"

"I think we should go to the park."

"The park."

"Yes, the park." Leah nodded her head. "It would be fun. You and me, exploring the sidewalks and scenery. We could have fun with it."

"If that's what you want."

"Yes, it is."

"Then the park it is."

The closest park was fifteen minutes away. Fifteen minutes that Leah and Will sang along to oldies songs on the radio in Will's BMW. Her hands strumming the ceiling of Will's car, Leah banged her head to the music, not caring how high school she looked, being juvenile and puerile once more.

Will, glancing over between his own soft singing, would smile happily to see Leah so completely lost in her own happiness. Her own world. It was what he had loved about her in college and yet it was what had kept him away from her as well.

Though he had always cared for Leah, he was afraid this part of her would make her lost to all other aspects of life. Life wasn't always filled with days of sugar-coated fun, and that was what he believed Leah thought of life until she had graduated. To see her take this sudden turn for seriousness, he realized there was more to the party girl that had been just as boisterous and gregarious in college as Jay.

"I want to float on water," Leah remarked when they walked past the small lake of the park, large to most people, but nothing compared to other lakes around the world. "To slide across it on my toes as if I were ice-skating. Don't you think that would be fun, Will?"

"Anything for you, Leah." Will stuffed his hands into his pockets, knowing Leah was not in the mood for anything intimate and such thoughts were probably not even on her mind.

"I've never been to the park here before, honestly." Leah shook her head at how pathetic she sounded saying that. "I always knew it was here, but the idea of just walking around didn't really appeal to me. But now it does. Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense."

"You know what I think?"

"Not this again," Will groaned teasingly.

"Fine," Leah crossed her arms. "I think that you are just agreeing to everything I say. What do you think about that?"

"I think you look gorgeous today."

There, he had said it.

Leah froze in her tracks and she felt her happiness fading like cotton candy on her tongue. Stiffening, she knew there was no way she could continue acting like this the rest of the day. For another minute. Who was she kidding, the fact that she was out and about, trying to have a good time, did not alter her present situation. Frowning, she dropped flat onto the ground.

"Damn," Will sat down, facing her. "I didn't mean to ruin your day, Leah."

"You didn't," Leah shook her head. "I did."

"Leah…" Will set a hand on her knees. "I hate seeing you like this."

As soon as he had said the words, he saw the toll they paid on her. Her eyebrows knitted together and a new sadness passed over her eyes and he suddenly felt guilty for causing her such anguish by his candid talk.

"You're magnificent," Will's grip on her knee tightened as he moved his head closer to the ground to look into her lowered face. "You do know that, right?"

"If not, I have you to remind me." she smiled, but he could see no joy crept to the corners of my mouth, or lit up her eyes.

"Is it alright if I hold you?" Will asked, feeling awkward for asking the question as soon as it was said. "I mean, I hadn't meant to sound…"

"If you want to."

Smiling despite himself, Will got up again and sat down behind her. Wrapping his arms around her, Leah suddenly felt warm and secure, closing her eyes and leaning back, molding her body against his. Her actions caught Will off guard and he only relaxed when he felt Leah sigh, resting her head back against his shoulder.

* * *

"So this is the place?" Will looked at the stables and wiped his forehead, already started to perspire from the late afternoon heat. "Not the cleanest place in the world…"

"It's a stable," Leah reminded when she came out of a stall, smiling brightly at him.

"So happy now, I see." Will laughed when Leah batted her eyes, skipping on her toes to the last stall in the far back of the stables.

It was amazing the effect being here had on Leah. Her face glowed with excitement at the fierce eyes that stared at her in caution and she seemed more like her old self than ever, prancing about in this humid stable. When Will approached Leah, he saw her stroking a horse's head, her head against the horses while her fingers lightly skimmed over the coat of a white horse. The horse was chewing in contentment, not minding Leah's contact as she hummed it a song.

"I'm assuming this one is your favorite?"

"Yes," Leah looked up and nodded. "You assumed right."

"You're gorgeous," and he watched her already flushed face turn crimson. "Really, Leah, I don't know how it surprises you. You are a spectacular girl. You make even standing in a dirty, scorching hot stable seem glamorous and great."

"You don't mean that," Leah's eyes lost its light as they became fierce like the horse she stroked.

"I mean every word."

"I'm sorry," Will apologized, afraid she might take off as swift and graceful as the horses she tended. "God Leah, I can't help how you make me feel. To me, you are just… amazing. I cannot help that I think you are the greatest person I have ever met and that I…"

"Please," Leah interrupted, looking more like a stricken animal than anything else. "I can't."

"I'm not asking you about anything," Will moved to her and looked into her eyes, feeling his stomach clench with desire. "I'm not asking for anything. I just want you, Leah. But you're calling the shots."

Releasing hold of the horse, Leah turned to completely face him. He saw the dirt on her cheek, wanting to brush it away, but knowing better than to push his luck. She was so sensitive nowadays, and he did not want to cause her pain or heartache. To his reluctant face, Leah only lowered her gaze, making Will turn weak, staring at her thick eyelashes and wanting to kiss her closed eyes.

"Leah…" he could barely speak the word, he was so lost in her.

"You can… you may hold me… if you really want." she said it in a murmur, and he almost believed he had heard it in his head until she looked up now, her lips trembling. "If you don't want to hold me, I understand."

"No," Will didn't waste another moment to have her in his arms, compressed against his chest as he lowered his forehead against her head. "This is all I need, Leah."

* * *

**AN: **Going to post two chapters today for you all just because you are awesome like that. Don't forget toreview!Thanks to **I-Got-You**, **kistinmilly, **and **luthien telemnar**for your reviews.


	4. Unsatisfaction

**AN: **A new perspective for you all. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4. Unsatisfaction**

Ethan drew in a deep breath before sighing as he drove his buggy home in the moonlit night.

Though bright and merry in her own way, Martha Dewberry's effervescent ways were nothing like that of what he truly wanted. His parents approved without a doubt. They were truly happy for him and his choice, praying for his happiness.

If only he could find it…

He knew that he should be married by now and that it was kind of Martha to wait for him as she has done. But no one but Charity could understand what made him inept to fully commit for what would come were he and Martha to wed.

"You still think about her, Ethan." Charity, wed and with a two-year-old son, frowned at him whenever he was caught alone with her at her home. "You dare not speak it with all else, but I can see what they dare not think of. You still hope for the English girl."

Leah.

Ethan closed his eyes, realizing how tense this made him feel, making his knuckles turn white holding the reins.

It had been so long, and yet whenever he closed his eyes, he could see her as clearly as rain, smiling at him, laughing with him, brightening up at his presence, and slowly losing that when he had decided to leave her. When he held Martha, even for a moment, it was as if he were holding Leah again, and he would immediately tighten his grip, not wishing to lose her, which would cause Martha to exclaim in surprise by his rough conduct.

"My parents would not approve of our actions," was Martha's only explanation for her little squeaks whenever he ended up forgetting himself and who he was with, thinking her to be Leah.

Why could he not close his eyes and see Martha? Why did he not think of her as he did of Leah, even after all of these years? Was it sinful to be with Martha, having everyone believe his intentions to be to marry her soon enough, when all he wanted to do was fade away into a realm where there was no Amish or English, but rather a place where he could remain with Leah, untouched by his faith and her world.

His thoughts drifted when he passed by where Charity now lived. He knew his sister was awake and probably sitting at her table, basking in the silence she never got until baby Patrick James was asleep. How he had loved his nephew, with his soft blonde curls and porcelain face with golden eyelashes that framed green eyes as pure and clear as the fields on a bright spring day. Ethan smiled at the thought, wondering if ever he would experience the pure bliss his sister had undergone at having a child. To see a baby with his features, his eyes, and lean face. Would his child have the same broad hands, weather-worn from working in the fields?

"You are still awake, Ethan?" Charity got up from where she sat on a chair in front of her home, seeing her brother in the buggy. "Do you not think Papa is worrying?"

"I do not wish to think of it," Ethan softly admitted, not even realizing he had stopped the buggy, thinking so deeply.

"Let her go," Charity set a hand on her brother's arm, wanting him to know of her love. "Leah is not the only one in your life who loves you, and she is not the only one you love. You may still love her, as I do, deep within, remembering her kindness for the rest of our lives, but you cannot be part of her world. Papa forbids it."

"I wish to see her again," Ethan's hands flexed despite himself, angry at never again laying eyes on the keeper of his heart, and always remembering her as the young girl who showed him love. "It has been years, Charity."

"Yes, it has." Charity agreed. "Years between the both of you. She is already part of the English world on her own. She is able to move on, cherishing your love and memory. Why can you not do the same?"

"What if she still feels what I do?"

"Leah Lewis-Hall always knew where to find us," Charity answered simply. "If ever she feels like seeing us, she knows where to go."

"What if she fears coming back? Fears that we have moved on without her?"

"Is that not how it is supposed to go?"

"I wish to see her again."

"Papa would call you a fool for wanting another girl when you already have one," Charity rested her head against Ethan's arm. "But I understand, brother. I miss her too. She was our English friend, and it pained me to know our worlds made us unable to continue our friendship as we would like. But you, too, must understand, Ethan. Martha Dewberry is waiting for you. If you leave, if you continue like this, you will ruin her. It does not settle well with everyone that Martha grows to be an old maid. Do not keep her waiting. If you must, break it off, Ethan. Do not ruin herself and condemn her to a life alone because you refuse to be satisfied with the love you had with Leah years ago."

"Your husband will wonder where you are," Ethan said bitterly, and Charity knew her brother would hear no more from her. "It is not good for women to be outside at this honor."

"Or men," Charity countered, walking back inside her house, her shawl hung closer by the sudden chill. "You are as unsatisfied as Eli."

Ethan cringed at his brother's name, knowing his sister did not say this to be bitter as he might have, but because that was the truth.

* * *

Will had treated Leah again for the day.

After he arrived at dawn to help her with the horses, Will hauled Leah away, still in her pajamas, to visit one of the trails by the Ohio River. Walking through mud in her sneakers as underbrush and bushes scraped against her legs since she had decided to wear shorts to bed, Leah clung to Will, not wanting to be separated and left here alone.

"What are you thinking?" Will questioned Leah when she stopped to look at the river that she could see through a gap in the trees. "And don't tell me nothing. I can see it in your eyes, and in that half smile that you are holding back."

"I'm just remembering," Leah closed her eyes and opened them when Will put his arm around her, guilty that her thoughts were filled with a certain guy when she was with another. "Let us go on, I guess."

Moving forward in silence, Leah could not get Ethan off of her mind.

Having him out of her life had been like losing a part of her. Though her heart cried in pain every moment for the first few years, Leah had taken up being happy and exciting on the outside to make-up for her lack of enthusiasm inside. People were surprised at her sudden attitude change, especially after her break-up with Ethan, and no one but Jay could understand.

"Come on, babe, you aren't the first girl trying to live a fun life to forget the pain in your life." Jay had laughed when she guessed right. "You're talking to the queen of heartache right here."

Leah doubted that she would have befriended Jay if not for what occurred between her and Ethan. Her new friend provided her with an outlet to forget the pain and give into the pleasures she never would have indulged in under any other terms. Partying all night to the point she was practically half asleep in lectures, it was a miracle in everyone's eyes, including hers, that she graduated with top marks in her class. To make the Dean's list with enough time to attend every party with the girl everyone knew on campus, Leah was able to eventually move on from Ethan and fully give into the life she was living.

Dating Will had begun it all.

He was the first boy since Ethan to make her heart quicken with his steady gaze. When Jay introduced him to her and he had been more than willing to spend all night talking to her, no strings attached, she thought she had met her match. Her relationship with Will was just what she had needed: someone to spend time with and talk to who would listen to her no matter what the circumstances, never demanding anything but her presence once in awhile.

Graduation was what had ruined it, when she had received the letter congratulating her. How fast the happiness in her life flooded away at sight of that letter, making her life seem so empty and pointless all this time. Who was she kidding? She had no idea where she wanted to go in life, and all of her goals now seemed shallow and petty. No one understood her decline in mood this time, not even Jay.

"Almost back now," Will smiled at her, giving her hand a squeeze before they parted to get back into his car. "You have a piece of dirt on your cheek…"

He hesitated at first, reaching out for her, but grinned when he saw Leah smile at his touch. It was the most inviting gesture he had seen from her, just that one smile, that he held his hand in place on her cheek, as if no amount of kisses could replace this tender moment she had given him. Only when Leah lowered her eyes, looking away quickly, did Will know his invitation was now gone.

"Where to?" he asked, trying to break the silence between them. "Just tell me, and I will take us there."

"It's not a time machine," Leah replied and then the silence came again until she finally looked over. "I think I need to get back now. The stables."

"I understand."

* * *

Leah left Will with nothing more than a farewell when she unlocked the front door of Mrs. Hendrickson's house with precisely one minute leftuntil six o'clock. Calling to make her presence known, she hurried to the kitchen to find it empty except for Jay, sitting at Mrs. Hendrickson's chair.

"Jay?" Leah could not hide the surprise she felt at not seeing dinner set, as always. "Where's Mrs. Hendrickson? She always has dinner ready at…"

"I know," Jay got up, approaching Leah, and hugged her. "I'm so sorry, honey, she's in the hospital."

"The hospital?" Leah's breath caught at the mention of the hospital, shuddering with memories. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"I honestly don't know," Jay's hug grew stronger. "She had a heart attack, Leah. The ambulance took her away an hour ago to emergency. I have no idea if she's even alive."


	5. At The Hospital

**AN: **Sorry for the wait guys. Hope you guys are enjoying this. Perhaps the next chapter will be more entertaining.

* * *

**Chapter 5. At The Hospital**

Jay sat downstairs waiting while Leah changed to go to the hospital for the night. Although she was supposed to change, since that _was_ her explanation for going upstairs after all, Leah sat at her desk, crying.

When it rains, it pours, and for Leah Lewis-Hall it seemed as if she was forever going to be caught in this hurricane.

What did she want? Leah's head pounded, screaming the question in her mind. She had spent so much of her life now trying to build herself up, move on with life, as if the only thing she had to live for was just pure survival, to prove to herself that she could last. Although she had, at what cost? No happiness flooded her soul as she looked at all in her life.

"But what would make me happy?" Leah closed her eyes, knowing only one possible thing would be able to help make her life make sense.

It was crazy, how quickly the words came to her. The plea had been within her all alone. There was no need for eloquence or long, elaborate explanations. Leah was able to sum up everything with the use of three words before signing her name at the bottom of the page. Enclosing it in an envelope, Leah wrote down the address that was ingrained in her heart for the rest of her life.

"Very nice," Jay commented as she walked downstairs. "I see you did a good job at changing."

"Thanks," Leah smiled weakly. "Can we stop at the post office on the way?"

"What do you need to do that for?"

"Please?"

"You know I can't say know to you, dear." Jay opened the door for her, letting Leah pass through. "I would sail across the ocean andaround the world and back if that would make you smile again, Leah darling."

* * *

The hospital brought back more memories that bombarded Leah to the point she felt she might shatter from the impact. Walking in the white, sterile corridors of the hospital, Leah shivered, remembering being confined within the walls once upon a time. Visiting another person in the hospital, she prayed this time the person would not end up dying. 

"Mrs. Hendrickson?" Leah entered her room to find her alone on a bed, a Bible in her hands.

"Oh Leah, dear." Mrs. Hendrickson laughed, although her voice was hoarse. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing alright," Lead sat down on the chair beside her bed. "I'm more concerned on how you are doing right now."

"How sweet," Mrs. Hendrickson smiled. "Just an old woman with fading health, honey. Nothing to worry about. The doctors say I will be out in a few days."

"Is there anything you need?" Leah asked. "I have nothing to do, so feel free to tell me if anything needs to be done at the house or you need groceries or company here."

"No. No. I'll be fine, child." Mrs. Hendrickson shook her head. "You go out. You have fun. Be young. No need to stay all cooped up on account of me. I will be fine, dear. So thoughtful though. I have plenty of company here. I'm losing my voice from talking so much already with the Gordon's child."

"The Gordon's child?"

"Yes, have I told you the Gordon's had children?"

"Wasn't one of their kids the one that's going to be the doctor?"

"Such a nice child," Mrs. Hendrickson's face brightened as if thinking something pleasant. "The Gordon's son was the one that found me, Leah. His parents had sent him over to say hello and he found me in the kitchen. Lucky for me I had a medical student tending to me before the ambulance came."

"I'm glad," Leah closed her eyes, realizing how this woman might have died today. "I wish I were there to have helped. Maybe I could have prevented it."

"Dear, these things happen," Mrs. Hendrickson set a tender hand on Leah's arm. "Don't worry yourself over me. I will be fine. I am an old woman and have lived a full life. Do not prevent your life from being just as full by worrying over me."

Leah was stranded at the hospital until late in the night when she realized Jay had no intention of coming back so she used a pay phone to contact Will. He drove by slowly, coming to a stop when he spotted Leah sitting on a bench.

Though she wore the same clothes he had seen her in that morning, she now seemed much different. Looking at her in the illumination of the streetlamp, he saw how skinny she had become, the light playing shadows across her cheeks and collarbone. She looked so tired and feeble, as if the slightest breeze might knock her over, making her fall over and shatter into millions of pieces.

"What's a pretty woman like you doing out so late at night?" Will joked, rolling down his window.

Leah did not respond and only got up to get beside him in his car. Wrapping her arms around herself, Leah shivered from the chilly night air. Turning on the heater, Will drove in silence.

"How is Mrs. Hendrickson?" Will could not bear the drive unspoken any longer after the first five minutes. "She doing alright?"

"She's doing better than me," though she intended it to be a joke, Will could not find the humor in the truth she spoke.

"Will you… are you… doing better?"

"I am doing fine," Leah looked out the window, seeing the lights of the town in a blur. "I just have a headache."

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Will realized how he sounded like some parent, inquiring their child about their health, but he shook it away, his concern for Leah stronger than his desire not to impede too much.

"Sleep…" Leah placed a hand on the finger, tracing her fingers in an attempt to repaint the symmetry of the passing town on Will's window. "I don't remember."

"Leah?"

"I really don't," Leah trembled, not caring what she had admitted and only thinking of her present situation once more. "Mrs. Hendrickson… she's not doing well. She said she'll be out in a few days. I talked to the doctors and they said there's more to it than she is telling me. Mrs. Hendrickson said she has spent the whole day talking to my neighbor's son, but the doctors say she hasn't had a visitor at all today except me. They said she might be in the hospital for weeks, maybe months, depending on her recovery. They have her under close monitoring."

"Mrs. Hendrickson will be fine," Will reached out and grabbed her hand from the window, squeezing it tight. "I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine," Leah pulled her hand free. "But I'm not sure if Mrs. Hendrickson is. The doctors don't know what's wrong with her. They don't know what triggered the attack. All the tests say she is perfectly fine. It doesn't make sense."

"Leah…" Will took in a deep breath. "I'm not trying to sound cold-hearted, but Mrs. Hendrickson is old. These kinds of things happen. She's lived a long life already. But you're still young. You look exhausted. It seems as if you're in just as bad of shape as Mrs. Hendrickson right now."

"I'm fine."

"Did you eat anything today?"

"Eat…" Leah stiffened, knowing what he was trying to get at, and turning her head to look at him. "You think something is wrong with me, don't you? You think I have some sleeping or eating disorder and I'm doing this to myself to punish me. I'm not. I've just… been really caught up with everything right now. I can't help that I haven't had the time to do everything. It happens. But that doesn't mean that something's wrong."

"I'm not trying to say something is wrong," Will answered. "I just want to make sure you realize your health matters too. Leah, you're so skinny, and you don't even remember the last time you slept."

"I… was writing."

"What?"

"Last night, I was writing."

"All night?"

"Is that so hard to fathom?" Leah replied defensively, her voice taking on an edge. "Really, Will, I would think you of all people could understand how you could get so lost in something that you lose track of all time. By the time I realized I should go to sleep, it was already morning."

"Oh Leah," Will parked the car in Mrs. Hendrickson's driveway, and leaned over to hug her. "God, I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you, Will." Leah broke apart from the hug and got out. "But I need to go and catch up on my sleep."

"I'm coming in."

"I didn't invite you," Leah reminded as she unlocked the door, although Will could see a small smile of amusement on her face.

"I'll just assume that Mrs. Hendrickson would want you to have company for a bit," Will explained, walking in and closing the door behind him. "Something smells good."

"But Mrs. Hendrickson isn't…" Leah stopped and felt her breath catch.

Mrs. Hendrickson small white table's lace tablecloth was replaced by a burgundy velvet sheet with golden beads that dangled at the ends. Countertops were covered with gold and silver candles, casting the room in a bronze haze. A small basket rested in the center of the table, filled with marigolds and daisies. Approaching the table, Leah looked in and picked up a daisy, staring at it blankly.

"Who did this?" Will questioned, staring at the porcelain plates and bowls filled with soup, salad, and a full meal.

"Who?" Leah shuddered, not knowing what to think. "What are you doing?"

"Helping myself," Will shrugged, reaching to fill his glass with champagne. "Someone obviously wanted you to have a full stomach tonight, and it's set for two."

"What if it's poisoned?"

"I don't think anyone is out to get you, Leah." Will responded. "If anything, it's probably Jay's attempt to make up for forgetting you or, perhaps, her idea of us spending the evening together."

"Definitely sounds like something Jay would do," Leah admitted, taking a seat and helping herself. "Although it still leaves one to wonder…"

* * *

Ethan frowned, unsatisfied with his current position. 

Left alone in this room when there were fields that needed tending to, work that needed to be done… he felt completely useless lying in this bed, his cast weighing him down.

He had been in a very bitter mood, more so than usual, as everyone inquired him on when he and Martha would marry. Using his work as an outlet, he had fallen from where he and his father were adding an extension to their home, and broken his leg.

Now, stuck in the hospital for the night, he could only brood, realizing he was finally out in the world where he wanted to be, but inept to go anywhere from where he laid at that moment.

"Hello?" Ethan cringed when he moved to sit up when he heard the sound of feet scurrying across the floor of his bedroom. "Who is there?"

"Kendall?" the girl's eyes went wide at the sight of Ethan in the bed. "Where's Kendall?"

"I don't know anyone by the name of Kendall."

"He's my brother," the girl put her hand on his bed to stand on her toes and stare at his cast. "What happened?"

"Broke my leg."

"Doing what?"

"Building a room."

"Kendall broke his leg climbing a tree once," she grinned at him, showing a gap where her two front teeth should be. "My mom got mad, and said that if he kept breaking bones like did that he… that he should go and be a doctor. That way he could take care of his bones without always going to the hospital."

"Really?" Ethan chuckled at the girl. "He sounds like a nice boy."

"Oh… no." the girl opened her mouth for a moment and waited a minute before talking again. "Kendall… he's all grown up now."

"A big boy now?"

"Yeah," the girl giggled. "_Way_ big."

"You should not be out of your bed this late," Ethan told her. "If you are sick, you need your sleep."

"But I want someone to talk to," the girl pouted. "And I can't find Kendall anywhere."

"Where was the last time you saw him?"

"At my house."

"Your house?"

"Yes," the girl's head bopped up and down. "But I already went there and he wasn't there. So I thought he might be here."

"Really now?" Ethan grinned, amused. "Now when was the last time you saw him?"

"I don't know," the girl frowned, scratching her head. "Before the accident."

"The accident?"

"Yeah… something happened and then… and then… I didn't see him again."

"Oh," Ethan suddenly forgot his own bitterness, as he realized that the girl's brother probably died awhile ago and she thought she would go to his old room while in the hospital for the night. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sad," the girl took a step away from the bed and clapped her hands together. "Kendall says to smile like there's no tomorrow."

"Smile like there is no tomorrow."

"Yup," the girl beamed, glad she was able to share that bit of information with someone. "I have always wanted to say that."

"Well, I am glad you could tell it to me."

"Nightie night night!" the girl waved before running out of his room, her footsteps fading away into silence.

"Funny kids," Ethan smiled before remembering that he was stuck in a hospital while everyone back at home were planning for a wedding after a proposal that would never come.


	6. Unexpected Encounters

**AN: **I know. I know. It's a short encounter, but there will be plenty more to come, of course! Thanks to my reviewers and readers. You all make this an enjoyable experience.

* * *

**Chapter 6. Unexpected Encounters**

Leah drove slowly, looking at the forests she passed on the way to the hospital, and wondering how she had ended up in a place like New Albany.

"Because of Will," Leah answered to herself with a smile.

Still with Will at the time, she had wanted to be nearby to him. She had been living with him in his home, earning money by babysitting a family and then allowing her name to be spread around the closely knit town by word of mouth. Upon taking some kids she babysat for a walk, she had ran into Mrs. Hendrickson whileshe pruned the rose bushes in front of her home. Dressed in a floral dress with a white straw hat shading her welcoming face, she had felt immediately at ease conversing with the old woman. Telling her of how she was still looking for a place to rent, she had offered to board her in one of her extra guest rooms and Leah, after receiving the first letter, was reluctant to be left alone and moved in with Mrs. Hendrickson.

Now, driving to the hospital, Leah thought of the same man who now lay sleeping on her sofa.

Both had finished the meal and cleaned up the kitchen, replacing the light of the candles with one of the fireplace in the family room. Sitting on the sofa, they had fallen asleep conversing late into the night until they sat in silence, watching the flames dance in the brick fireplace.

Leah remembered waking up, finding her head resting on his shoulder, the only sound in the room being her rapid heart beating and Will's steady breathing. The thought she had spent the night with him and fallen asleep on his shoulder had her tremble while driving down the road.

Walking up the stairs of the hospital and down the hall to Mrs. Hendrickson's room, Leah felt the feeling in her gut that reminded her so much of her own experience in the hospital. The overall atmosphere brought her back to her first visit, just a teenager peeved at being stuck at here with a broken finger, of all things in the world.

"You here to see Mrs. Hendrickson?"

A young man with curly brown hair and chocolate, caramel eyes held out a hand with a welcoming smile. Clad in a doctor's coat, Leah stared at him in perplexity over how a man of this stranger's age could possibly have become a doctor so early.

"How is she?" Leah shook his hand and sat down at the chair beside his. "Has she improved?"

"The same as before," the man laughed. "Although the doctors still haven't figured out what triggered the attack."

"Any ideas yourself?"

"Not at all," he crossed his arms over his chest. "But being a medical student, I'm not likely to solve it before my more experienced colleagues."

"You must be the Gordon's son."

"And you must be the stable girl."

"If that's what you want to call me," Leah grinned, remembering her times at the stables. "I love working there. It is so relaxing and the horses… I could spend my whole day there… I feel so lost in the atmosphere."

"Being in college, I rarely have time to indulge in my old sports," he leaned back. "It's a pity though. I miss my horses. My parents aren't as passionate about riding as myself, but they maintain the stables for my sake because I would if I had the time outside of school. But someday I'll go back to it."

"I just graduated," Leah told him. "I don't know how you can last through all those more years of college. I barely made my way through my four years."

"I heard from Mrs. Hendrickson you were quite the scholar."

"I was lucky."

"Give yourself a bit of credit, you must have done _something _to graduate with top marks."

"Somehow found my way to do the work and that was basically it," Leah shrugged, standing up. "I would talk more, but I should go. I… well… I'll just stop by at a better time for Mrs. Hendrickson."

"Are you free for the afternoon?" he stood up as well, subconsciously tossing back his curls.

"Free?" Leah laughed. "When am I _not_?"

"So a cup of coffee or something sound good to you?"

"I guess," Leah couldn't prevent herself from smiling when he locked arms with her, grinning as if he was some love-struck teenager who finally got to go out with the school beauty.

* * *

Ethan slowly inched his way to the exit on crutches, the padding burning into his underarms in a way that had him scowling. On the edge after a restless night, he had had to sit in his bed waiting for the doctor to give him the okay to leave all morning. And now, with lunch almost over, he was finally free to escape the realms of the hospital.

His long hair fell in front of his face, brushing against his cheekso that he was lefttossing back his head like a wild horse as he continued his approach towards the exit. Irritated to the point he would hit the next moving thing that might cross his path, when a man opened the door for him, he didn't even bother saying thanks.

"Ethan?"

He stopped in his place, half-way through the door as the voice registered in his head. Though much more matured, he would know her voice in a chaotic crowd. Turning around, he felt his breath catch at the sight of her.

Leah stood before him in a white dress that seemed more suited for Marilyn Monroe than her. Her hair, grown to her elbows, was pulled half back in a clean white ribbon, making her seem like a school girl reporting to her grandparents. The most beautiful girl he had remembered her to be had somehow managed to become breathtaking to the point he felt he might collapse from getting the wind knocked out of him.

"I'm assuming you both know each other?" the man by Leah's side broke the silence after he realized neither one was bound to say anything, preferring to stare all day long if given the opportunity. "Leah?"

"Oh… hello," Ethan grinned at how her face went red as she introduced the man beside her. "The lady I am staying with, Mrs. Hendrickson, had a heart attack, and he happened to be the one to find her."

"Lucky for her that I'm a medical student," he bared all his polished teeth to Ethan in a smile.

"Well… what are you here for?" Leah laughed as soon as she said it. "Broken leg?"

"How did you know?" Ethan surprised himself at his own joke and how he could find humor at a time like this.

While Ethan stood with his heart pounding, wondering how Leah could stand there like she was without hearing his heart crying out for her, Leah stood there thinking the exact same thing. Biting down slightly on her bottom lip, Leah stared at Ethan, waiting for him to say something else, put forward the usual chaste talk that she had remembered.

"How have you been lately?" Ethan asked softly.

Leah felt her stomach tightened as she remembered her letter. She did not want to have to explain her situation or her reasons for writing. Not now, in front of a complete stranger, or in any public place, in fact. Taking a deep breath before proceeding, Leah laughed awkwardly at the tension that hung in the air, suffocating the both of them.

"I'm… doing quite… fine." Leah managed between laughs as she silently cursed this sudden uncontrollable laughter.

"That's good," Ethan nodded, not wanting to intrude further as he bowed his head. "It was a pleasure to see you again, Leah."

"Yes… a pleasure."

Stopping in her tracks, Leah watched Ethan board the bus and she realized the last thing she wanted right now was to go out with some other guy. Looking at her neighbor, she smiled and made an excuse, saying she had forgotten some appointment. He was completely understandable, suggesting another day, although she was confident that he knew she had just lost all interest.

* * *

"When you called and said you were a wreck, you sure weren't kidding." Jay remarked when she found Leah sitting in front of the fireplace in a tank top and underwear, throwing in the flowers from the previous night into the flames. "You going to tell me what's wrong this time, or do you want me to go out in the garden and pick some flowers for you to feed the fire?"

"I ran into Ethan today," Leah set down a flower to wipe a falling tear. "I was a complete idiot, Jay. You have no idea how badly I blew this one. I mean, here he was and here I was, and we were just _staring _at each other. No talking. No communication whatsoever. Just this blank stare!"

"The dreaded stare!" Jay gasped in sarcasm and immediately softened as she sat down and wrapped an arm around Leah. "Don't worry, Hun. We're tough ones, these broken-hearted girls. Don't you get all down on me now because you didn't know what to say to the fellow. It takes two people not to talk to one another, and from what I just heard, it didn't seem like your friend was all eloquent either."

"I wrote him a letter," Leah lowered her head as she hugged her knees. "And when he asked how I was doing, I could feel in my gut that he must be referring to my letter. It was my moment of truth. The time for me to tell him everything and this chance to make amends and clarify everything, but of course I don't do it! After all this time, I just stare at him and give him this answer as if we're engaging in small talk! Small talk of all things! As if we were only acquaintances… after all we've been through! It's ridiculous. It's utterly ridiculous. It's maddening. I think… I will… I…"

"Dear, I don't know how you can form a coherent thought with you in such hysterics." Jay hugged her friend tightly, staring into the fire as Leah cried on her shoulder. "That's it. Just break apart right now and Jay will put the pieces back together for you. Don't you worry, Hun. If anyone knows a remedy to heartache, I must be the one."

"He didn't even say anything to me, Jay." Leah sniffled. "All these years. Sure, I've thought about him. I had so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't pick just one to say to him. I had my one opportunity to see him again, and I wrecked it up terribly. I'll probably never see him again. It seems everything is going downhill."

"It'll only go downhill with a mindset like that," Jay got up to retrieve the quilt on the couch and wrapped it around Leah. "First, I'm going to save you from dying tonight from pneumonia. Second, I am going to cook you a warm dinner because you are disappearing on me, Leah. Third, you are going to eat the dinner I cook without making too many snide comments on my lack of culinary skills. And then I will make us both a cup of hot chocolate and we'll have a nice chat in front of the fireplace about guys and our future and all of life's little problems. Sound good to you?"

It was amazing how fast her sorrow drained at the sight of her friend with her hands on her hips, thinking only of Leah's health and happiness. Forgetting the sadness of the day, she smiled, wrapping the blanket tighter around her before holding out her hands to the flames.

"It sounds perfect to me."


	7. Consolation With Confidants

**Chapter 7. Consolation With Confidants**

"So this Ethan guy," Jay set some pancakes on Leah's plate in the morning. "You never told me his story. Was he a looker?"

"Are you kidding?" Leah drank a glass of milk and laughed. "He was handsome beyond all doubt. He has long hair, but it suited him, you know? And was he always so cordial. He wasn't one of those fellows that fed you a line as if they were fishing for any girl that might take the bait. He was sincere when he talked and I liked that about him."

"How did you land someone like him?" Jay put her dramatic front forward and dramatized being jealous. "And he went for a girl like you?"

"Jay…" Leah giggled. "Lucky for me that you're my friend. You could be nasty if you wanted to."

"I suppose," Jay examined her nails. "Well, it's been absolutely thrilling sitting here and chatting with you this morning. And I must say, our little tête-à-tête last night went rather well, even if it did begin on a low note, but us tough girls stick together and we've once again managed to start off another day ready to conquer the world."

"Thanks to the magic you perform on the world," Leah remarked, standing up. "God knows what you do to make everything seem okay with life when nothing feels worth it anymore, but you manage to pull it off, and now I feel as if I could walk around the world in high heels and I wouldn't feel the pain."

"I don't think I could do that," Jay laughed as she fumbled with shutting the front door. "We're like too drunk girls, Leah, yet neither one of us had even a sip of alcohol in the past twenty-four hours."

"Sober drunks," Leah shook her head. "If it were possible, we've certainly fulfilled it, I'm sure. I _feel_ drunk…"

"Darling, you've never been drunk for a moment of your life." Jay told her as she started the car. "But that's alright because I make up for the both of us without a doubt."

"I'll second you on that one."

"I really did intend to cut down on the drinking at parties once," Jay put on her sunglasses and grinned in her rearview mirror. "But then I thought perhaps I had dreamt it and so I tossed that idea out the window."

"I wonder what Ethan is up to," Leah sighed in all the happiness that surrounded her. "Not to dampen up the mood."

"We're going to party with the world today," Jay said, turning on the radio and blasting a classic rock hit that she proceeded to sing along with. "And not let guys from the past, as cute and wonderful as they might seem and be, ruin our festivities and cause us more heartache."

"Life's one big party in the lives of Jay and Leah," Leah grumbled before settling back into the jollity that she had grown used to overnight. "Turn up the volume, Jay, I think the chorus for the song is coming up."

* * *

Ethan had taken a break from the humdrum of his house to go on a walk with his crutches. Going down the paved roads, he grew frustrated at the hair that continuously fell on his forehead. On the verge of cursing, he only kicked at the ground with his good foot, causing him to lose balance and almost topple over.

"What has you so lost in your anger?" Charity approached him, her son in her arms staring at Ethan with wide eyes. "Does being back in the English world make you so upset?"

"I saw her, Charity." Ethan took a deep breath, tossing back his head, he hoped, for the last time today. "She was there in the hospital when I left."

"Leah?" Charity shook her head with a smile. "What are the chances something like that should happen? It is quite a coincidence."

"Without a doubt," Ethan agreed. "But Charity, she was… gorgeous."

"Leah was always beautiful."

"More so than before," Ethan couldn't control himself as he proceeded on. "She's grown up and she's not at all the girl I remember, but she looks so familiar at the same time. I have never seen anyone more beautiful than she, Charity. I do not know how I can live like this, having people inquire me about other women that I might possibly marry, when I know she is out there, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"And how is she?"

"Leah… I don't know," Ethan laughed in the irony of it all. "I've been waiting for this moment since I last saw her, Charity, and when we see each other, we say nothing. I had no idea what to say. If I _should _say anything. She was with another man, Charity. I do not think they were together, but I cannot blame her for seeing other people. I always thought… I don't know why… but I thought perhaps she was always the same girl, with only eyes for me. As it has been for me."

"So neither of you said anything?"

"I know nothing of her at all," Ethan laughed again. "She and I have not seen each other in years and we said nothing. Is it not ridiculous? Is it not maddening? I have been thinking it over all this time and I realize I will probably never see her again. I must find contentment in that moment, but how can I… when I see the most beautiful person in my life… the girl who is now the woman that I have thought about all this time… and realize I let her leave my life. She is probably fine without me. I do not blame her. I left her. She deserves to be fine without me. But Charity… if it must be… why am I so unsatisfied? Why am I not satisfied with this life? I left Leah for a life that leaves me incomplete. I have been spending this whole time… investing my life in the hopes I will be able to find that feeling I had with her somewhere here in this life that I have grown accustomed to all my life to realize nothing comes close to that feeling. And here I am, spending years upon years contemplating this to the point it has made a changed man of me… turning me bitter and cold as ice as I bask in the irony and sarcasm that has become my life, and I realize that I have spent this time trying to move on when I only want to go back and yet even if I did manage to go back, Leah has moved on. She is gorgeous and probably already has someone and a new life and knows me only as some memory of her young years. I have become the king of fools, sister."

"Ethan… is it possible Leah might want to go back as much as you?" Charity suggested. "Or that she misses you at all?"

"Why should she?" Ethan shook his head. "I am unworthy. I think of my life now and I fall short. Anything I was that she might have seen in me when we were young must be gone by now. All these years of thinking maybe, someday, I'll forget about her and move on only to be proven wrong has made me a stranger to even myself. How could she want someone like that? How could she want to share the life I am living when I don't even want to live the life I am living?"

"If that is how you feel about your life, brother, perhaps it is time you tried something new?" Charity reached out and skimmed her brother's cheek, tears in her eyes. "I would never banish you like our family, but maybe your fate lies in a life outside of this Amish life. A life like Eli's."

"I will never forget how lost he was, Charity. I could not give myself a life like that."

"You are not Eli, Ethan." Charity reminded. "And a life in the English world complete, since you say you are incomplete now, is far from lost. Right now, I believe you are lost."

"I do not want to be like Eli."

"Eli has his own story… his own road that he chose to travel upon." Charity looked at her brother and cried in her heart for the future he was bound to choose. "And yours is not the same."

"I just wish to hold her in my arms once more, Charity." Ethan felt the pain in his gut taking over as he confessed to his sister. "You must understand me…"

"I do," Charity said. "Which is why you must go to her, Ethan."

"It is so simple, but I have no reason to go anymore. I saw her and it is done with. She has moved on without me."

"If you had reason to go…" Charity looked at him sternly, knowing well she was sending her brother away for good this time. "…would you leave to find her?"

"In an instant."

"Then," Charity handed Ethan a small envelope, fighting tears of the farewell she knew was to come. "Here is your ticket to leave, brother."

Ethan did not even need to read the letter to know of its message. Seeing her handwriting, addressed to him on paper, and the stamp with her name on the return address, he knew only one thing might send him back to her. This was no letter of hellos or inquiries. This was a letter that required action.

I need you.

Leah Lewis-Hall

"What do you want me to tell our family?" Charity questioned while hugging her brother goodbye.

"Tell them the truth," Ethan could feel the old normality of his teen years return and the soul that he knew well as his own returning once more into his life. "I am not like Eli."

"No," Charity agreed. "I will miss you."

"I will return."

"But if you find Leah…"

"I will come back."

"You will uproot old quarrels," Charity reasoned. "Bringing her back if she agrees. You cannot leave her again if you do."

"I will do what is right," Ethan looked down at the letter and felt as if it were delivered by the Lord himself, so urgent and sacred was its message. "I just must pray that Leah will do the same."


	8. Awkward Arrivals

**AN: **I know it's been awhile, so I thought I would try to make it up by posting these two chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 8. Awkward Arrivals**

Leah had spent the afternoon shopping with Jay. After many hours of carrying around bags, having other men carry around the bags, and eventually just throwing them in back of Jay car before getting a few phone numbers, Leah was done with fun for the day. Her legs ached from her high heels that she felt would be great to wear in the morning, and the tiger that had began the day had now dimmed down into a timid kitten.

Though the rocks had pierced her bare feet when she went to the stables, it had felt great for her feet to be able to breathe again after all of the tension and pain she had suffered throughout the day. She had made sure to wipe her feet on the mat a few times before entering back into Mrs. Hendrickson's house and boiling a pot of water for hot chocolate and an evening in front of the fireplace as she settled for soap operas or some cheesy sitcom rerun.

"Maybe it would be better if Mrs. Hendrickson were one of those old ladies with cats," Leah remarked when she noticed how alone she was in this house. "Then I wouldn't be in this empty house by myself."

As if answering her prayers **AN**: PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR SUCH A CLICHE OCCURENCE, the doorbell rang.

Ethan gaped at Leah clad in a short black dress. A halter top that hugged her curves to her hips before falling about three-quarters of a foot past her waist in waves looked like a dress more suited for a girl working at a club than something a girl might randomly wear spending an evening at home with herself. Blushing for her, Ethan gaped at her, unable to take his eyes off of her face once they settled there.

"Ethan…" Leah's breath caught at the hard stare he gave her, not taking his eyes off of hers. "Did you…"

"I got your letter," Ethan looked down finally to retrieve the letter from his pocket.

"Oh…" Leah felt suddenly ashamed of her letter, not sure how to explain herself. "How about you come in. You can sit down if you would like. I think that would be more comfortable than standing with your crutches."

"Thank you," Ethan took a seat at the sofa that Jay had sat at twenty-four hours ago. "I have missed you, Leah."

Leah stopped her movement, assembling together two cups of hot chocolate, at Ethan's words. She knew it was a common thing for men to say to women they haven't seen in awhile, but she was so used to the old Ethan telling her candid replies with no strings attached, she had no idea how to take it.

Lost in her contemplation over his words, Ethan proceeded on, finding the silence uncomfortable.

"Charity got married," he cursed himself silently in his mind at how he had changed the topic from her and moved on to his sister. "She has a son. His name's Patrick James. He looks just like Charity in many ways. She is a good mother."

"I believe it," Leah handed him a cup of hot chocolate and smiled, taking a seat on the armchair by the fireplace. "I'm glad Charity has a nice hold of her life and that she is doing great. How about yourself? You doing alright?"

"I am not married," Ethan told it more to the cup in his hands than to Leah. "Everyone waits for me to announce my engagement to Martha."

"Martha Dewberry," Leah smiled at the memory of her, but Ethan could see the smile was not one of happiness. "Is she doing well?"

"She is patient," Ethan shrugged, not knowing what to say of her. "I fear that if I do not do something soon, I will ruin her reputation. It does not settle well when a young woman remains unmarried for so long."

"If that were the case out here, I could only imagine what people might say of me." Leah stopped laughing when she realized Ethan had not caught onto her humor, or at least made it known that he had. "Sounds like everything s going well with you, too."

"Yes, that is what it sounds like." Ethan's feeble reply made Leah's head jerk up, once again not knowing how to take his words. "Is your life doing as well?"

"My life…" Leah knew it was useless to lie, considering she had only sent him a letter needing his presence there to help her make meaning of everything. "It is not going so well, I guess. There is a whole ton of things I would love to discuss with you, but I don't think they're things that I should just flat out say all at once. For tonight, can we just pretend that everything is fine and superb and we couldn't be happier?"

Leah imagined in her head Ethan saying he did not understand the reason to pretend when everything was obviously not going well, and she did not hide the surprise she felt when he said otherwise.

"If that is what you want."

"Alright…" Leah sucked on the bottom part of her lip, thinking of something to say to bring back some sort of normality between them. "How long do you think you will stay?"

"As long as it takes," Leah could feel blood rushing to her head, imagining Ethan staying with her and the whole situation had her head spinning to the point she thought she might faint.

"You can stay… in the other spare room." Leah laughed saying it, realizing she was staying in someone else's house and the absurdity of the entire situation that she had put herself in.

"I'm sorry that I do not have any other clothes than these," Ethan said, looking down at his Amish attire. "I might not appear up to standard to other English people."

"That's what shopping is for," Leah felt as if she were a dream, picturing her going out into the world once more beside Ethan again. "That is, if you _want_ to go shopping tomorrow."

"If that is what you feel we must do."

"Well… how about I show you to your room?" Leah suggested, far too antsy to remain sitting down for much longer. "It sure isn't much, and it isn't exactly a masculine room…"

Leah blushed at the painted pink walls with the floral wallpaper that wrapped it up like a little girl's present. A full sized bed, complete with lavender pillows and a flower printed comforter, greeted them both as Leah imagined Ethan moving around in the morning, looking at his reflection in the paper white vanity in front of the window.

"It is a nice room…" Ethan couldn't even help grinning at the room in front of him. "Thank you for the place to stay, Leah."

"Thanks for being here," Leah smiled at him, wishing to reach out and be in his arms again. "It means so much to me."

"I am glad to be here," Ethan smiled and looked down at her, not sure what to do now.

"I guess I will see you in the morning…" Leah took a step breath, exhaling. "Any preferences for breakfast?"

"No preferences."

"Then I will take you out for breakfast," Leah grinned. "Good thing, too, because I sure am no cook."

"Alright," Ethan took another step into his new room, making the distance between them greater. "Goodnight, Leah Lewis-Hall."

"Oh yes…" Leah nodded. "Goodnight Ethan."

"It still is the same?"

"What?" Leah turned around. "What's still the same?"

"You are still Leah Lewis-Hall, right?"

"No man has me tied down quite yet," Leah laughed awkwardly. "Maybe someday."

"Goodnight then," Ethan grinned. "Leah Lewis-Hall."

"Alright," Leah shook her head at how unbelievably uncomfortable they have both made this small conversation. "Goodnight, Ethan Longacre."


	9. Sweet Silence

**AN: **Sorry it's been awhile. Been so caught up with a few things in my life right now, but that's no excuse. Hope the chapter is enjoyable. Thank you SOOOOO much to the reviewers. Your reviews are always appreciated and much love goes out to you all for making my life brighter by sending me them.

**Azlin: **You are so sweet. I loved the Angels Trilogy and I'm glad that you think I was not too unfaithful to it, and was able to capture the greatness that was evoked in those books.

**Jamie Lynn: **I hated keeping you waiting. I hope you forgive me for my delay.

**Anna Lena Farias: **I completely agree with you. The ending of the books left me disappointed with so many questions and I don't think anyone could walk away from something after a great love like that. Hope you enjoy the rest of it!

**Writingtiger: **Hope you still like where you think it's going.

**I-Got-You: **Thanks for the sweet reviews. Hope my delays haven't made you lose interest.

**SF: **Thanks. Really rooting that I kept it up.

**Luthien Telemnar: **Much thanks for your reading and reviewing.

**Kristinmilly: **My favorite series too without a doubt. Thanks for the review.

* * *

**Chapter 9. Sweet Silence**

Waking up, Leah grumbled at her alarm clock. She tossed back her head and rolled off her bed to suddenly feel a splurge of energy that had her running to her closet to grab clothes and head to the bathroom. She ran past a sleepy Ethan and slammed the door, not wanting to waste another moment of her day out with Ethan.

When she emerged half an hour later in black high-waters and a crème white blouse, she smiled at her reflection in the hallway mirror, sure that her white headband was in place to keep her hair out of her face. Ethan sat at the kitchen table with his head resting on the table and his eyes closed. His long hair dropped down to his eyebrows, skimming his eyelids as he breathed deeply.

"Already falling asleep on me?" Leah said loud enough to have Ethan sitting up straight in an instance. "Hope I don't leave you to such boredom again today."

"I could never be bored with you, Leah." Ethan answered, standing up and wiping the wrinkle of his shirt. "This shirt wasn't wrinkled when I woke up this morning…"

Sitting at a small coffee shop in the mall,Leah watched as Ethan stared at the English muffin and cappuccino with a disturbed face. Taking some peanut butter and smearing it inside,Leah offered it to him and smiled, hoping that he did not think her as a complete animal for the wayshe lived.

"It isn't exactly a home cooked breakfast served with an apron or anything, but it does the job." Leah reassured him when he took the first bite. "I've taken many a friend to this joint and no one has died yet."

"It is nice," Ethan grinned, some peanut butter smeared over his lips. "Thank you for the breakfast today."

"It is my pleasure," Leah felt herself growing tense at watching Ethan eating and the peanut butter she wished to wipe away from his mouth. "You've got…"

Leaning over, Leah grabbed her napkin and pressed it to his lips. Immediately, Ethan sat erect, looking straight into Leah's eyes with a look of complete shock on his face.

"What brings you into these parts so early in the morning?"

Jay's entrance into the whole scene made it completely topple over. Leah turned sharply at her friend's voice, her arm knocking over the hot cappuccino. The scorching liquid had Ethan jumping up, knocking over the table so that it caught Leah off balance. About to topple over with the table, she was saved from colliding with the fallen breakfast when Jay stepped in and grabbed her.

"I know I take your breath away, honey, but not in front of the cutie." Jay helped Leah turn the table back up and gave Ethan her best smile. "I'm Jay. Leah's love fool friend. If there's a girl out there with a worst love story out there than Leah's, it just might be me."

"Worst love story?" Ethan turned to Leah in question and she felt herself blushing.

"Jay… this…"

"You haven't heard?" Jay interrupted, leaning on the table and staring down at Ethan. "Before Leah joined me in college, she had met the most fabulous fellow. He was perfect, handsome, and apparently the nicest and most sincere guy you'll ever come across. Of course I am jealous that I never had such a great guy, but some girls have all the luck, you know? Well, everything was going fine, but it was one of those relationships that was probably doomed from the start. The fellow came from another world… a completely different world… and so things came to an end, but isn't it just peachy how all great things must come to an end? It seems downright unfair, and I understand completely why the girl was down as can be in the beginning. It wasn't until I took her under my wing and showed her that there are much healthier ways to cope with heartbreak than the way she was dealing thatwe became the school party girls. I guess it wasn't all too bad, do you think?"

"I guess it wasn't all too bad," Ethan agreed, his eyes looking atLeah seriously.

"You must forgive my friend, Jay." Leah told Ethan. "She enjoys talking and she doesn't mind showing the world that."

"Damn straight." Jay emphasized proudly. "Someone has to do the talking for others out there that won't."

"And now Jay… this is _Ethan_." Leah held back a laugh when she made the introduction.

"_Ethan!_" Jay almost choked the word as she leaned more onto the table for support and moved closer to stare into Ethan's face. "Well now… it was quite a pleasure to meet you this wonderful morning day. I think I will just go now and leave you two be. I am sure there are many couples out there in love that I can interrupt and embarrass beyond repair."

"Thanks for stopping by," Leah waved.

Ethan got up to throw away their discarded meal and Jay turned around to mouth "you _must _call me back later", causing Leah to burst into laughter just as Ethan sat back down.

"Jay can get carried away sometimes," Leah bit her lip, not sure what to say after all that Jay had said. "Back in college…"

"Is that what you say about us?" Ethan questioned, the current situation presented to them.

"Jay exaggerates," Leah covered. "But the truth was, I really wasn't as great as I thought I would be when you left. I was a wreck until I went into college and met her. Then life has been pretty much one big party, until just recently again."

"I did not mean to cause you harm, Leah."

"I know you would never mean to, Ethan."

"I am not happy anymore either."

"You aren't? Why?"

"Because I am not with you," he stated simply. "But I am happy now. Though I am sad that your life is not as good as you deserve."

"Ethan…" Leah sighed and stood up. "We have a long day ahead of us. How about we get started on that shopping?"

* * *

The day had been very productive. Ethan had managed to look absolutely great in every piece of clothing he tried on, but he had settled for three pairs of jeans, two polo shirts, and a muscle shirt that made Leah feel like she was a teen, swooning over the most gorgeous guy she had ever seen.

Stopping at the stables in the afternoon for Leah to tend to the horses, she ran a hand on her favorite horse's mane and looked at how Ethan admired the horse, his touch with home apparent in his face and expression. She saw how his muscles flexed when he lifted up a bag of feed and felt herself growing hot, as if looking at Ethan this way was one of the world's worst sins.

"That shirt really does you justice," Leah commented as they walked back. "I don't think I've seen a guy pull off that look better than you."

"Thank you," Ethan grinned despite himself. "I have not worn English clothes for so long, I feel as if I am playing the role of someone else."

"You'll always be the same sweet Ethan to me, if that counts."

Leah's compliment caused a long hush to follow. Ethan remained speechless, unable to express that he was anything but the young boy she knew him to be, and Leah standing there, not knowing what to say to take back her words or make the situation right. So much being unsaid seemed like a barrier, separating them from getting any closer than where they stood, and both looked down like little children, too shy to do anything else.

"My mom is doing great," Leah told him later that evening, as they sat on the couch watching the flames in the fireplace. "For once, after losing her husband, she didn't go out shopping for a new one. But then again, Neil wasn't really like her other husbands. Still living in the same home and enjoying days out shopping, since it seems that going out driving and getting new stuff is just the way girls console themselves."

"Do you do that?"

"Me?" Leah laughed. "I'm not exactly sure what I do. I don't think that I do much of anything, which is probably why I am where I am."

"And where is that?"

"Wanna dance?" Leah evaded the question, standing up and grabbing Ethan's hands. "Come on. It'll be great. Just the two of us dancing in the firelight. Just like old times…"

Leah stopped herself from moving on, realizing that her talk was bringing up a topic that seemed to have become taboo between them. At least for now. Not knowing what to do next and releasing Ethan's hands, she took a step back and turned around, facing the fireplace and hoping to escape her present reality by getting lost in the dancing flames. It wasn't until Ethan's firm hand rested on her shoulder and he turned her around, that Leah smiled.

Though awkward at first, the full discomfited moment came and they both looked down in different directions, their steps large as they stepped on one another's feet.

"I've missed you," Ethan stated. "Everyday… I thought of you."

"I've missed you too, Ethan."

"Whatever it is that is wrong, I hope that it shall soon be resolved." Ethan said it slowly, not sure if it was appropriate or not. "Perhaps it will no longer be a problem by the time that you decide to tell me."

"College was so hard at first."

"I have never experienced it."

"But not because I was at college. I wanted only to be with you."

"Do you know why I don't want to be with Martha Dewberry?" the distance between them diminished and they now moved with their torsos touching and their hearts accelerating as Ethan whispered the words into her ear. "I only want to be with you."

Some things were too great for words.

Sighing in happiness, Leah rested her head against Ethan's shoulder, and they continued their dance in complete silence.

Never was silence so sweet than that which followed, their heads resting on one another's shoulder, with the only means of rhythm being the beatings of their heart.

* * *

**AN: **So... what do you think? 


	10. Lakeside Lament

**AN: **So it's been awhile, and I apologize with all my heart. This past week has been very hectic, but now that it is passed, I hope that this week promises more leisure time to do what I love the most. Enjoy and don't forget to review!

* * *

**Chapter 10. Lakeside Lament**

Morning comprised of Leah waking up to find she had failed to set her alarm. Jumping up, she tossed back her hair and ran out of her room in black pajama bottoms and tank top. Walking downstairs, she went into a closet to grab shoes and was about to go outside before Ethan walked through the back door.

"What are you doing out?"

"You were sleeping in, so I went to feed the horses for you."

"You didn't have to," Leah told him. "It's my responsibility."

"I wanted to help. You need your sleep."

"I can't believe that I didn't set my alarm," Leah sat at the kitchen table, running a hand through her head to think. "I'm usually not this out of it, I promise. I don't know what got hold of me."

"Nothing happened to be ashamed of."

"I feel like such a wreck," Leah laughed as she said it. "I mean, I can't even remember little things anymore. How bad is that?"

"You look beautiful today."

"You don't look too bad yourself, you know." Leah smiled, looking at how she sat in her pajamas and he stood in his new clothes, ready for the new day. "I never thought that I would see you again."

"Never?"

"Never."

"I thought the same," Ethan admitted. "But I'm glad that I was wrong."

"You know what?" Leah stood up, going to the counter to grab her keys. "I was just going to have us bask here and find something to do, but I think we should go out somewhere. How about it?"

* * *

Will had not been reluctant to meet Jay at the park, but when Jay mentioned Leah, he knew he wouldn't hesitate a moment to hurry over. Jay sat at a bench that was concealed in the shadow of a large tree, her dark hair blending in with the shade.

"Looking lovely as usual, Jay." Will complimented before he took a seat.

"Do you think the red lipstick is too much?" she puckered her lips.

"Red lipstick has always worked for you."

"I'm a colorful person, I can't help it." Jay shrugged, her arms spread out across the top of the bench. "Life is far too great to go about it bland and dull. It's bright people that have all the fun."

"I'd believe it." Will crossed his arms over his chest. "So what is happening with Leah?"

"You know that guy… the one she was deathly in love with in high school that made her the wreck I found her to be?"

"Of course."

"He's back."

"Back?"

"Yeah," Jay smudged her lips together. "Not sure if it'll be good or bad for her, but I want to make sure he doesn't go and break her heart again. You understand?"

"I understand just as much as you do," Will nodded. "Leah doesn't deserve that again. Especially when she's been such a wreck lately."

"She tell you what's wrong?"

"No. Did she tell you?"

"Nope," Jay frowned. "I wonder if she told Ethan."

"What happened?" Will asked. "Why is he here?"

"Not exactly sure," Jay answered. "I just ran into them at the café in the mall yesterday morning. They were there just having a lovely breakfast together, and my _God_ Will, the man is pure perfection!"

"That sounds reassuring," Will said bitterly. "Why did you call me here, Jay? I don't really need to know about the man of Leah's dreams finally coming back into her life."

"Well, you love the girl, right?"

"I'm surprised you still ask me that question."

"Exactly," Jay nodded to herself. "And I think you deserve to know."

"Then why the park? Why not just tell me on the phone and save me the driving?"

"Because," Jay put her hand above her forehead, like a sailor scanning the horizon. "They are at the park right now together."

* * *

Leah and Ethan walked around, side by side, across the paved sidewalks of the park. Many unspoken things were not yet presented to one another, and neither seemed to be in a rush to let those things be recognized. Rather, they were prolonging it, enabling them to walk around blithe and carefree, with no thoughts passing through their mind but the contentment they had recently begun to experience at having one another back in their lives.

"Such a gorgeous place," Lead commented, her eyes shifting to the tall trees that surrounded the park and much of New Albany. "Surprising that this is my second year here and I am just discovering this. Or maybe it's just because you're here."

"I've discovered things too, Leah." Ethan ran a hand through her hair. "Like the fact that it is possible to be just as happy as I used to be."

"Used to?"

"Before we left and went our separate ways."

Leah stared at Ethan then, knowing nothing would seem appropriate to end this conversation unless it was a kiss. Ethan, with the same thoughts rushing through his head, felt himself go red and grinned when Leah's face turned just as bright. Before they had gathered enough courage to perhaps do so, the moment had passed, leaving Ethan cursing himself inside and Leah sighing before dropping down to sit on the ground in front of the lake.

"What make us think we could go on like this without each other?" Leah hugged her knees, watching the sun reflect across the glassy surface of the water.

"Fear… uncertainty." Ethan joined her on the ground, his arms draping over his knees like a bored teenager, despite his enthrallment. "We were still kids, Leah. We had plans. Family. To completely give all of that up was a scary thought. And one that seemed too overwhelming to do anything else but what we did."

"I missed you so much," Leah said. "I know it must sound cliché by now, considering I say it so often, but it never grows old to me. It wasn't so bad in the beginning, but when I settled down in college, I realized that maybe I never would see you again. That you were probably starting your new life just as I had, and that all we had of each other were memories."

"I missed you too."

"But Ethan, I wanted so much more than memories." Leah lowered her head, her hair falling slightly forward so that it covered one side of her face. "And it seemed that was all I would ever have."

"I thought that I would settle back down fine after I left," Ethan explained. "But nothing seemed the same. I seemed as disconnected with my home as if I had been like Eli and just left. In many ways, it seemed almost worse, since I was surrounded in a society I felt I was no longer a part of."

"Why would you do that to yourself?"

"I wanted to believe this was where I belonged," Ethan replied. "That I would find contentment in living my usual life. Doing what I had always planned to do. But I couldn't. Not without you. My future seemed just as bleak as yours did when we separated, except that I had been in denial for so long that I believe it truly would work out for the good. I guess it just took me all this time to figure that out."

"And how did Martha Dewberry feel about this?"

"She was a reason that made me continue," Ethan frowned in sadness. "I wish I could be all that Martha wishes I could be, and promise her everything that I know she desires, but I can't. She has been so patient. One of the most patient I have ever met. But I'm not for her. I never will be."

"You have a lot of respect for her."

"Very much so. She is not so much the ingénue she makes herself out to be at times. She knows, Leah. She knows that I can never be with her, no matter how much I try, or how much she waits. But she _does_ wait. She waits for me to come home and announce that we will never marry because I could never love her the way I loved before."

"Ethan…" Leah closed her eyes.

"How I loved you…"

"Please Ethan."

"I think I might love you like that still."

"I never stopped." Leah whispered, her eyes seeking refuge in the lake when tears came to sting her eyes. "Please don't hurt me again, Ethan."

"I've made a victim of you…" Ethan's pain had Leah crying, and he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer. "Never in my life, Leah, would I purposefully come out to cause you harm. I only wish for your happiness."

"I know, Ethan. I know." Leah sucked on her bottom lip. "I just cannot believe that we have gotten together again after so long."

"You called for me, did you not?"

"I felt so sick and out of everyone's reach before," Leah's tears were macerated by her sudden joy. "But now it seems like you coming here was just the remedy I needed."

"I needed you just as much, Leah Lewis-Hall." Ethan declared. "It is just that you beat me to the first step."

A tranquil moment of serenity took hold of the fraternization and Leah smiled, realizing that silence had become an active participant during their conversations.

"Do you think we would have lasted?" Leah asked, her eyes never leaving the lake.

"I would like to think that we would," Ethan responded, resting his head on her shoulder before they stared at the lake together, its depths as dark and enigmatic as the answer to the question neither one of them could discern.

* * *

**AN: **So begins a set of chapters that will be the happy-go-lucky kinda stuff before the true drama comes in. Dun DUN DUN! But I hope that you all enjoy it. :D 


	11. One Of Those People

**AN: **Much apologies for the delay. I hate leaving you guys in the dark like this, and the sad thing is it will probably take another week before I can update again, which will leave you in the same position once more. Hope you don't hate me too much, and that it doesn't have you guys not enjoying this chapter. Thank you to my reviewers. This is all for you guys.

* * *

**Chapter 11. One Of Those People**

"At least there isn't any passionate love affair that you can see," Jay remarked, crossing her legs and tossing back her head, her attitude more suited for some Hollywood diva than the rural city of New Albany. "I mean, they could be down there kissing… all over each other. I mean, besides us and them, there's no one else here."

"You don't have to be passionate in public for there to be love," Will could not conceal his sadness. "He is resting his head on her shoulder and they are sitting there perfectly content. I've never seen Leah so tender. Caught in such a situation. When she was with other guys… when she was with me… she was all fire."

"Thanks to me," Jay laughed. "I remember her running over to me during a party crying, demanding we leave because she had made out with some guy and felt so guilty. I don't think she felt any remorse after that really, although I doubt she did any more than that. Leah wasn't one of those girls men could take to bed casually. She has her morals."

"And you?"

"I tried to have morals, and it tore me up. It's better having no restrictions."

"A sense of right and wrong?"

"Well, there _are_ laws." Jay grinned. "I'm not that dense, of course. But in all honesty, can you picture me married? I'm bound to be some spinster all my life, so I might as well pounce upon the opportunity for temporary love before even that walks out of the door."

"That's not true, Jay."

"Come on, Will. Let's be candid. Have I ever had a relationship that lasted more than a week or two?"

"That's because you always break up with them."

"Well, maybe I would keep them if they didn't keep me on edge all the time."

"What, scared of a little commitment?" Will teased.

"Not at all," Jay answered confidently. "More like I get what I want and then get rid of him before he gets rid of me first. And now… the passion will come."

"I don't think so," Will shook his head when they watched Ethan help Leah up. "Just being a gentleman."

"But then they'll come back together…"

"Leah's not that kind of girl."

"None of us know what kind of girl Leah is."

"Damn rain," Jay frowned when a few drops escaped through the leaves of the trees.

"I want to hate him," Will lowered his head, his fingers digging into his hair. "But he's good for her. I can tell. Giving her his jacket to shield her from the rain. Holding her in a way that not many men would if given the opportunity to spend time with someone like Leah. I don't know how he can resist. How he can…"

"God he's perfect!"

Jay moaned, observing Ethan pick up a dandelion and hand it to Leah, who decided to blow it away. All the particles headed towards Ethan, and Leah tossed her head back in laughter, happier than either two people on the bench had ever seen her.

"I've never seen her smile like that before."

"Will any guy ever go out and pick me a dandelion?" Jay pouted. "It's like some little kid cliché, a boy giving a girl a weed, and yet it is sweet in its own way."

"I could grab you one, if you'd like." Will suggested, eyeing a few that rested beneath the bench.

"It's from you, Will, and you don't count." Jay stood up now. "Okay, I think I'm going to go. Watching these two together is making me realize how alone I really am, and I think I'll go out and make myself so not alone."

"Okay."

"You going to come along?"

"No," Will shook his head. "I think I'm going to sit here for awhile. Think… you know?"

"Brooding," Jay gave him the thumbs-up. "Gotcha."

* * *

Returning to the house, Ethan had suggested that he go and surprise her with a home-cooked meal, so Leah had decided to spend her time outside, resting on Mrs. Hendrickson's patio set, basking in the wilderness that surrounded her. Tall oaks with leaves that fall had painted gold and bronze for the time being, contrasted with the dark pine needles. So different from the artificial sounds of the city, polluted with car exhaust and smoke. 

"Hey there," a little girl had turned the corner of Mrs. Hendrickson's house, pigtails swinging in the faint breeze. "Whatcha doing?"

"My friend wanted to cook a surprise dinner and I'm out here waiting for him," Leah answered, smiling when the girl sat down opposite of her on the furniture, completely comfortable conversing with a stranger. "What are you doing out here? Where are your parents?"

"Oh, I'm a _big _girl now and my parents let me go outside alone to play." she explained proudly. "I wanted to go for a walk. I was just on my way home."

"I see," Leah felt a warmth within her, talking to this little girl. "What's your name?"

"Abigail," she stuck out her tongue. "But I don't like that name. Everyone calls me Abby. My brother calls me Abs."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I love my brother. He's the greatest."

"I don't have any brothers or sisters. I'm the only child."

"But that's _boring_!" she exclaimed. "Who plays with you? And keeps you company? And listens to the rain while drinking hot chocolate with you? But the chocolate has to have little marshmallows."

"I live off of hot chocolate nowadays."

"Only at night or when it's cold," she replied. "But why don't you have a brother or sister? Don't you get lonely?"

"I guess, but there are other people there that are just as close as any sibling."

"Like your friend?"

"Yes," Leah smiled. "My friend is one of those people."

"My brother can't cook," she told Leah. "But he likes making me cereal."

"So you are a cereal kid?"

"Yup," she beamed. "But my mommy likes me eating a bigger breakfast."

"It's the most important meal of the day, you know."

"She tells me that!"

"Leah!" Ethan's holler had Leah standing up and turning around to face the screen. "Dinner is ready when you are."

"Oh, there's Ethan. I'm sure he would love to meet you." Leah walked to the door and opened it. "Ethan, we have a little company tonight."

"Always ready to welcome company," Ethan emerged from the door. "Leah… what company?"

Now facing the furniture Leah had sat at less than a minute ago, conversing with the little girl, she found no traces of any other person sitting there. Perplexity filled up Leah at this sight, and Ethan noticed how she caught her breath at the sight.

"She might be in a rush to go home."

"Nonsense… there is no way she could have left that fast. I had my back turned for only a brief moment." Leah moved to the seat the girl was seated in and pressed a hand to the cushion. "I swear to you, Ethan, I had company here on the patio while I was waiting. She was the sweetest little girl."

"I would never doubt you, Leah." Ethan rested a hand on her shoulder, as his other skimmed hers on the cushion. "But the chair is cold as can be."


	12. To Feel At Home

**AN: **I am unbelievably sorry for the delay in updating. It has been ongoing events one right after the other and I have not had the time to sit down and write away, and now just found the time today. I hope you are not all too dreadfully disappointed in my dilatory updates. I ask for your humble forgiveness and hope that this chapter makes up for small penance.

* * *

**Chapter 12. To Feel At Home**

Forgetting of the visitor for the moment being, Leah and Ethan entered the kitchen. Staring at the kitchen table, Leah's mouth dropped, soon erupting with laughter.

"Are you joking, Ethan?" Leah felt ridiculous saying that, knowing well Ethan's sincere ways, but she could not restrain herself. "You made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

"Do you like them?" Ethan grinned.

"Very sweet," Leah smiled back. "But I smell something else…"

"That's for later," Ethan's grin widened as he sat down.

"So I'm guessing your culinary skills are very limited," Leah remarked. "If this was all I was able to scrounge up during college, I might die."

"But I am certain you cook better?"

"College taught me that much."

"No starving for Leah, I suppose."

"Nope. Otherwise I'll just eat out everyday."

"Good," Ethan replied. "Because I wouldn't want you to starve."

Leah set down the sandwich to stare at Ethan, who continued eating without notice. Accusations of Leah's willowy figure being the cause of her not eating reminded her of her present situation that she kept pushing away, failing to acknowledge its presence until the very last moment. How could so many people look at her and think one thing and have Ethan fail to see all that she was known as?

"What does your family think of you being out here?"

"Charity supports me," Ethan answered. "She thinks this is best for me. My parents do not. They want me to marry Martha. What about your mother?"

"She would support me if I decided to cut off my right arm if she believed that would make me happy," Leah laughed. "She worries about me a lot."

"She loves you."

"I know. I know." Leah grinned. "I want to figure out what I want really fast. I hate telling my mom that I still have no idea what I'll be doing in the near future."

"I do not know what I will do either."

"I know I want to be secure and have a stable home," Leah closed her eyes, thinking hard about the future she had dreamt of since high school. "A family."

"You will find your way to make your dreams come true, Leah Lewis-Hall."

"I have no idea how I will get there…"

"What do you do for work?"

"I don't have a job," Leah confessed. "The only thing I do is feed the horses, which is a job that kids do in high school, not a college graduate. I do not know what I could go out and pursue."

"There are many jobs out there. You won't know what you can do until you go out there and try it out."

"I know," Leah frowned. "I am just afraid I won't make it."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"I don't know…" Leah bit her lip. "I don't want to get rejected."

"Rejected?"

"What if I'm not enough?"

"You are a brilliant person, Leah Lewis-Hall." Ethan smiled. "And if you remember…"

"You never tell a lie," relief spread across her face at mention of that. "You make life so much more bearable when you are here, Ethan."

"I was thinking the same about you," Ethan got up and retrieved dessert from the oven. "You like apple pie?"

"You cook better than I do!" exclaimed Leah. "The closest thing I have to apple pie is those microwavable ones I get at the store."

"Charity makes the best apple pies," Ethan explained, handing her a slice. "She taught me when I visited once."

"You are the most amazing person I know, Ethan Longacre." Leah told him after taking a bite of the pie. "I cannot believe you can make this. What need do I have to go out every morning to the café when I have professional cook?"

"Would you like to walk?"

It didn't matter that Leah was only half done with her slice of pie, or that her stomach grumbled in protest when she stood. Ethan could have asked her to take a knife and stab herself and she probably would at this moment. Instinctively, all eyes on him, her hand sought his, and she felt a flight movement within her stomach that felt greater than the pie she had just consumed, grinning ear to ear when Ethan's grip on her hand tightened.

For what seemed like the longest time for both of them, they walked around the oval of a street without a word said, afraid the utterance of any slight sound might ruin whatever moment they had both entered upon standing up from the table to leave the pie to grow cold. Passing by the house once, Leah's heart leaped and she was surprised it did not just come bursting through her chest when Ethan interlocked his fingers with hers.

What had brought them together? A plea for help in Leah's current situation that either one of them refused to acknowledge? As time progressed, the thoughts seemed almost imaginary, as if the only true reality was the present time of both of them being together once more.

Was it fate that though never mentioned, whatever was present between both of them was still there, beating with life just as strongly as before? That after all this time, a part of their life they once thought over could reemerge and conquer all else in a matter of days?

Nighttime had played its toll upon the world, painting it into a violet haze of moonbeam. Fireflies flickered in the darkness, contributing further to the enchantment this walk had yielded for Leah and Ethan.

Around the sixth or seventh time of going in a large circle around the neighborhood, Leah and Ethan stopped, staring at Mrs. Hendrickson's home. An arm came around Leah, and she settled down, leaning into the touch that had been missing for so many years.

"Ethan, I…"

"We should probably go back inside," Ethan interrupted, leaving Leah ambivalent over whether he had said that with no intentions of cutting off her confession or whether he knew it was coming and simply did not want to hear it. "Can't roam the streets all night."

"Ethan…" Leah covered his hand with her own when he reached the doorknob, causing him to look up into her eyes. "I…"

Bearing into his eyes, eyes that pleaded with the same passion as her own for the instant they had both been waiting for, he leaned in to kiss her. Sparks ignited, and it would be no wonder if they emanated a glow similar to the fireflies that surrounded them, as Leah wrapped her arms around Ethan, unwilling to let him go until they had completely given into this gesture, lest it be the last one they ever got in their lifetime with one another.

Ethan had never kissed anyone like this before. Deepening this kiss of theirs, he couldn't help smiling at the scandal that would erupt if anyone back at home had seen him right now. It was the reunion he had always hoped for, and something that he had no intention of wasting. Just as reluctant as Leah to never let go until they had, it was quite the scene when they broke apart, clinging to one another for support as they stood out of breathe.

"Leah Lewis-Hall…" Ethan breathed, pressing his hands on either side of her face and kissing her forehead. "Never… never… in my life… could I have thought…"

This time, using her turn to interrupt, Leah kissed him softly on the lips. Though her lips merely brushed his, it was like a volt of electricity, passing throughout their bodies until it settled down at their feet, igniting their whole body.

Enclosing Leah in his arms, Ethan laid his head down on hers and they both closed their eyes, once again more fearful of eradicating whatever it was that they had materialized since standing at the doorstep, and wishing with all their might that things might stay like this for the rest of their lives.

And for the first time in awhile, Leah Lewis-Hall and Ethan Longacre felt at home.

* * *

**An: **So begins the drama... 


	13. The Past Emerges

**AN: **Okay... so begins a series of sad chapters, but they'll get happier as they progress. Please don't get too mad at me. You guys are all awesome, especially if you review.

* * *

**Chapter 13. The Past Emerges**

As much as they both desired to remain in this atmosphere of bliss and contentment, time stopped for no one.

"Leah?"

A man, middle-aged, and dark stood before them. Tousled dark hair, full of waves that were more tangle than curl, and stubble from not shaving cast his face into shadow. Yet, despite this rugged appearance of his, there was no denying he held a handsomeness.

"Leah…" Ethan's grip on her tightened as he pulled her closer when she failed to respond. "Who is this man?"

"Ethan…" Leah took a step back, never letting her eyes go of the man, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Could you just give me a moment outside, please?"

"I can't leave you out…"

"Please," Leah cut him off.

"I'll be waiting, Leah." and Ethan walked inside to leave Leah with this stranger at the doorstep.

* * *

Dear Charity,

It is surprising how quickly one can find purpose in life in an instant when one believed life to be at an end. Never did I think that my returning into Leah's life would create something like this.

She is as amazing as ever, the same beautiful girl I remember her as. It saddens me that she still believes me to be the same when I know how much I have changed over the years. It shocks me that she does not see a stranger staring back at her.

Something is going on in her life that I know not, and each day I see the toll it pays on her. She does not wish to talk about it, and I will not press her until she is completely ready. It pains me to watch her suffer for any reason, and I feel much sadness for all that I have caused her in the past between the two of us.

As much as I want to believe it is ever the same as when we were together, I know we are not. At the moment, we are both giving into an illusion, but I believe this shall soon be gone, for this reality is one that neither one of us can ignore for long.

Leah is outside right now with a strange man that I have never seen, but Leah insists on speaking with him. Her expression was full of sadness and pain when she saw him, and I did not wish to leave her alone, Charity, but it was what she wished, and I will not restrain her from anything that she wishes to do. I just pray that all works out and what needs to be said is said so as to make sense of both our lives before we end up wasting it any further. You remain in my heart, sister, and give my love to all.

Love,

Ethan

* * *

An hour passed and Ethan felt uneasy, his letter to his sister long finished and resting in a pocket of his pants. Worry possessed him, and marching to the door, he slammed it open just as Leah was turning the door.

Face to face, Ethan looked at Leah's deadpan expression in bewilderment. Was she the same person? Who was this stranger, staring at him with an expression that seemed more dead than alive? He almost believed Leah had died and returned a zombie until she moved from where she stood to enter the house, walk by him, and sit down on the couch in front of the fire.

"Leah," he sat down beside her, not sure how to react at her blank face that gazed at the fire in an enigmatic trance that had Ethan stumped on this recent behavior of hers. "Leah… who was that man?"

Without a reply, Leah turned abruptly and kissed Ethan, bringing him down on her. All the tension between them both that had developed in the past hour was released as they proceeded with their kisses on the couch, forgetting once more of their current situation and trying only to escape from the reality that was their life.

"I've missed you so much," Leah breathed with a grin before Ethan's lips seized hers once more. "So… soo… …. … much."

"How could we have stayed apart for so long?" Ethan left her lips to place kisses wildly across her face. "These past years were nothing. It was nothing. This is what matters."

"I thought… about you… everyday." Leah was out of breath, imitating Ethan's gestures as she turned and lay on top of him on the couch now. "You were always there… in my life… I could never forget you. Never… ever… _want_ to… Ethan… I…"

"Leah, I…" Ethan's interruption was interrupted when Leah burst out into tears.

Whatever tenderness and passion that was between them a few seconds prior dissipated rapidly until Ethan was stuck in an awkward position with Leah on top of him, her sobs causing her body to shake. All the pain that had been nestled within Leah since Ethan's arrival all leaked out, spilling out of her much like a dam that suddenly had a huge hole in it. As wonderful as it all was for her to have Ethan here, she just didn't know what to do with herself.

As Ethan lay there, he somehow found a way to move his body from underneath her and sit up, allowing her to rest her head in his lap and release her sorrows.

Compassion and sympathy for Leah overtook Ethan to the point that he, too, felt he might cry, seeing Leah in so much pain and misery. Without realizing it, he had pulled Leah up and held her against his chest as he comforted her and her tears soaked up his shirt. Not knowing the cause of all her tears, he sat there watching the flames of the fire, as if staring at the fire might provide him with the answers he sought at this present time.

Was it only a few minutes ago that they were entwined in a heated kiss, not thinking of anything else but the connection that still remained between them? Was this broken down soul weeping on his chest the same girl he remembered her to be? Was he, once again, leaving his old life for something far worse?

He looked down and saw the same beautiful girl, and these days with her made it seem like nothing existed between the gap since they had seen one another. But now… now Ethan knew not what to think. She was in every way a broken soul, torn one way or another by something, or, perhaps, someone. Her apparent despondency put Ethan in a position where he was willing to go to the extreme just to see her smiling once more in the way she had only minutes ago.

"Leah Lewis-Hall…" Ethan cooed, his hands running through her hair. "I would fly to heaven and back if it would help at all…"

"I couldn't say a thing to him," Leah's hand held his shoulder and her grip tightened with each word. "He was so helpless… begging forgiveness. All I had to do was say so and I would be free. Just a simple word, and yet I could say anything but what he wanted to hear. Ethan… I need to wake up one day and not be confronted with these kinds of things."

"Leah… you must talk to me." Ethan pleaded. "Tell me what it is that hurts you so. I hate seeing you like this…"

"In time," Leah closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest and sighing. "In time."

"At least tell me who the man is…" silence followed and Ethan let out a breath. "Please, Leah. I do not mind being left in the shadows, so long as eventually I am shown the light, but you show no ray of hope for me. But if it pains you so to tell me or you find it unnecessary or don't wish to tell me…"

"It's fine… I'll tell you." Leah looked up then, her tear-stained eyes bearing into his and expressing a desolation of about twenty years. "He's my dad."


	14. A Frightening Confession

**AN: **Thanks so much for the reviews, you guy. I am sincerely sorry for my delay in updating here. I did notice a few of you all commenting on Leah's dad already being dead. Well… trust me on this one, there's a point for all of this. Hope you guys enjoy.

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**Chapter 14. A Frightening Confession**

"Leah," Ethan held her still but he could not hide the perplexity upon his face. "But…"

"Ever since I've been here I have been confronted by him," Leah sniffled. "I tried to ignore it at first. The letters. The calls. Eventually seeing him in public, trying to catch up to me, only to have me run away as fast as I could. I couldn't handle it."

"And your mother?" Ethan asked. "What does she think of all this?"

"I've told her, I really have." Leah reassured, trembling as she spoke. "But she does not know what to do. How could she understand? My situation is out of this world. Out of my hands. It is as if I am living in some science fiction tale that will never end. I want to escape and make it all disappear, but, try as I might, I am a victim. I cannot do it."

"But… he is your father." Ethan said. "Should there be reason for you to flee from him?"

"I love him, of course. I did then and I always will." Leah kept her arms around Ethan, placing a forehead on his shoulder now. "But I can't forgive him. I just can't. It was the hardest thing… trying to move on after he left. And I vowed that I would never forgive him. I am not up to do this, Ethan."

"But do you not think he deserves your forgiveness?" Ethan questioned. "Leah… he is your father. He cares for you. Whatever misgivings he has done, it has been long enough. It is not like you to hold grudges."

"I have carried this for so long in my life, Ethan. I cannot just simply end it like that."

"But is that not what we did?" Ethan had her looking in his face. "I say this not to be cruel, Leah. But it seems I am no better. I left you to move on by yourself. I now come back to you now, asking for your forgiveness, and I believe you have given it to me, I think."

"Of course I have forgiven you, Ethan." Leah kissed him softly. "I love you."

"And do you not love your father as well?"

"It is an entirely different story, Ethan." Leah stood, heading to the kitchen. "I am going to finish that pie of yours now. It isn't warm anymore, but I bet it still tastes just as great."

"Leah…" Ethan followed her, sitting down at the table as she helped herself to another plate. "You cannot avoid this."

"Ethan, you do not know the whole story." Leah remarked defensively.

"But I cannot know the whole story unless you tell me it."

"Maybe for another day."

"I love you too, Leah." Ethan told her. "I wish you would not conceal secrets from me."

"Do not make me seem like I am doing something wrong," Leah took a bite of the pie. "That seems to be all everyone can do anymore."

"I would never think you are doing anything wrong," Ethan ran a hand through his hair. "I just worry for you, is all."

"Trust me, I'll be fine." She said, looking down and not wanting to discuss the matter any further. "Are you hungry?"

"I think I shall retire to bed now," Ethan stopped in the doorway. "Good night, Leah."

"Night."

"I hope that whatever troubles lay within you are soon gone," Ethan confessed. "I hate to see you so pained."

* * *

Dressed for bed, Ethan stood in front of the bedroom mirror, staring at his reflection. His time here has already altered his appearance and entire countenance. He had begun to notice a change after the first night, how his eyes now possessed some characteristic of happiness and a life that he had forgotten even existed. But now, after that conversation with Leah, and seeing her as probably most people have seen her recently, part of his new persona had faded away, reminding him more of the troubled man hehad beenacquainted with for the past few years.

By now all of town must know where he was, and who he was with. It hurt to know the gossip and scandal it must be, for him to leave in the dead of the night with no forewarning, and abandon Martha and his family. No one would understand except Charity. How would he ever explain himself were he to come back?

"But I won't come back," Ethan confirmed. "If I do, it will only be to say goodbye. My place is with Leah. I cannot leave her again to take upon herself the life I have heard from others that she has been living. She means to much to me."

Laying himself beneath the covers, he turned off the light, but not even the dark could tire him. He was wide awake with worry, concerned for the well-being of the girl he once loved who had now become a woman that was placed in a situation that was tearing her apart.

Staring in the distance of the room, so lost in thought was he, that he did not notice when Leah slowly entered his domain, wrapping her arms around him on the bed. His hands fell atop his as Leah kissed the side of his face, closing her eyes and savoring the tender moment, not realizing Ethan was doing just the same.

"No matter how rough life may get for me," Leah said. "It all seems so right, so long as I'm with you."

"But does it make the problems go away?"

"No," Leah sighed. "Ethan… not even a cure for cancer could have been a better gift the day you came back into my life."

"I wish to help you."

"Just being here is helping."

"I think I love you, Leah Lewis-Hall."

"I know I love you, Ethan Longacre," Leah's chin rested on his shoulder, now looking down at how his fingers were entwined in her own.

"I did not explain to my family my reasons to leave," Ethan confessed. "I told Charity, but I know that whether I gave explanation or not, my actions will be frowned upon."

"And you and Martha…"

"Nothing will ever happen," Ethan shook his head. "No, I have waited too long. I do not feel fondly of myself for making her wait as well, but the pressure had placed me in a position I wished not to be in. I have only recently escaped it… when I left home to find you…"

"Where do we go from here?" Leah asked softly. "We cannot live like this forever. What do we do?"

"I love you, Leah." Ethan breathed the words and after he said it, they lingered upon his lips. "Lord knows I have loved you since the day we met."

"Ethan…" Leah shifted slightly in the bed, knowing that in order to go any further, she would have to take the first step to make it there. "You know how I was telling you of my dad today and how he has beencoming by and asking for my forgiveness…"

"Yes, of course, Leah."

"Well… the truth is that it doesn't upset me that he is following me around asking for my forgiveness. Or that I keep getting letters and calls and seeing him everywhere I go. Every dad that wants to see his daughter is bound to that. But the thing that gets me… why this entire situation is just killing me inside is that…" Her grip tightened and Ethan shivered at the frightening thought that was soon to come. "Ethan… my dad has been dead for over a decade."

* * *

**AN: **Alright. I MUST know how you think about this one, please. 


	15. No One Measures Up

**AN: **I am so sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long. I hope this chapter was worth the wait for you guys, and I promise to update again by the end of this week, and perhaps sooner. Got to make up for my neglect. Much apologies to my readers.

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**Chapter 15. No One Measures Up**

Ethan had been awake for over an hour, but he could not will himself to leave the room. Curled up on his bed with her lips slightly parted in the most tempting fashion, Leah slept soundly. Though it pleased him immensely to see her finally resting when he knew she spent many nights, or at least the ones he had spent here so far, pacing in her room doing tasks in the dead hours of the night, he knew that staring at a woman while she slept surely could not constitute as anything desirable.

How did he plan on telling her? How was a man supposed to tell a woman in her deepest hours of sorrow that he wanted her solely for himself? Would she think him rude for only thinking of his own feelings in a time where it was she who needed him, and not the other way around? If only she knew… that though he has always loved her, nothing before had prepared him for this.

"Is this love?" Ethan walked towards the door of his room and turned around, taking in the sight once more. "I do not even wish to depart with you for a moment, Leah Lewis-Hall."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Ethan asked, seeing Leah descend the stairs as she threw on a thin jacket. "You did not tell me you had plans today."

"I just realized that I have been neglecting Mrs. Hendrickson." Leah's grin faded to a look of worry. "I'm sure you have had your fair share of hospitals at this point, and I'll spare you the trip."

"I do not mind, Leah." Ethan stood. "If anything, you should never again have to enter such a place. You spent enough of your life there."

"I owe this home to Mrs. Hendrickson," Leah explained. "It would not be right of me not to visit her. I won't take long, I promise. Just a quick visit to check up on her and let her know that I'm still alive and well. I just hope she's improving."

"With someone like you watching over her, and praying for her well-being, I am sure she will recover soon enough." Ethan smiled, but still did not wish to depart from her side. "You will not be gone all day, will you?"

"Of course not," Leah laughed. "There is only so much for me to do at the hospital, and the less time I spend there is always the better for me. Besides, I wouldn't want to be away from you more than I have to. Don't want to leave you here waiting all day."

"I do not mind the wait so much, if this means something to you."

"You know, even now you are the most civil and compassionate person I have ever encountered, Ethan Longacre."

"And, even now, you are still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, Leah Lewis-Hall."

"If any other man in the world had said it, it might have been cliché." Leah laughed as she walked out the door. "But I know you tell no lies, Ethan, and anything you say is nothing but pure sincerity. I love that about you."

"I love that about you too."

"I promise to be back as soon as I can," Leah waved before closing the door.

* * *

"Leah? Leah, darling?" Jay burst through the door, shouting up the stairs. "Hope you don't mind I grabbed the spare key under the flowerpot. I couldn't resist myself. Hope I'm not interrupting anything between you and a certain… special someone. My Lord, Leah, what is that smell? You decide to order breakfast without me?"

"Hello?"

Ethan walked to the foyer, in Mrs. Hendrickson's pink, floral apron, beating a bowl of batter, and stared at Jay in perplexity. She stood clad in a hot pink strapless dress made of leather, her hair piled atop her head, and her face painted with dark eyes and bright lips. Never had Ethan beheld a sight such as that which stood before him.

"What do you know? We match, hun," Jay entered and ran a polished nail up his chest in her usual flirtatious air. "So I finally get to have some alone time to chat with Mr Perfect."

She moved past him and sat herself at the table, and her eyes went wide at the large array of breakfast items displayed before her. There were more styles of cooked eggs than she could count, and waffles with biscuits and gravy. As far as Jay was concerned in the matter, the man seemed more like Betty Crocket than anything else.

"You may eat some if you would like. I am not that hungry."

"And ruin the feast for Leah? The girl _needs_ the food more than me," she smiled wide. "I'm just packing on the pounds, ormaking up for the weight Leah loses, if you would prefer. _But_, if you _insist_ that I eat something…"

"I insist you eat if you are hungry; I can always make more for Leah before she returns."

"Where did she go off to?" Jay questioned as she buttered a biscuit. "Not off to mourn her life once more, I hope."

"Leah is like that?"

"Darling, before you came, Leah was crashing harder than the Titanic," Jay shook her head. "I can only imagine where she would be if you had not decided to randomly come back into her life when you did."

"Tell me," Ethan sat down across from her. "Tell me what Leah was like."

"You want _me_ to describe Leah to _you_?" Jay arched an eyebrow in bemusement. "Sweetie, if anything, I should be asking you to tell _me_ about _her_. This girl I see now is a completely different person, and all because little old you waltzed into her life again."

"I wish to know how she was before I came," Ethan explained honestly. "I have always known her as I see her now. I cannot imagine her being anything else, and yet I know she was. Please tell me of the Leah I do not know."

"Okay, honey, but only because you're kinda cute." Jay laughed and indulged herself in some French toast. "Leah was the quiet little girl in college, probably the sweet thing my parents would beg me to act like. I was the party girl who enjoyed her fair share of attention and fun, and I guess not much has changed in that department since college for me. I took Leah under my wing. She _is_ a good girl, and it was amazing how she could carry herself so low when she was one of the most gorgeous gals you will ever find in your life."

"She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," Ethan agreed full-heartedly.

"You _are _perfect, Lover-boy." Jay sighed and went straight back to the story, not to be side-tracked completely. "Not sure what to tell you about her. In the beginning, she could be just as crazy as me, which is saying a lot, considering the things I do at parties could get me locked away in the loony-bin. And, being the gorgeous gal she is, she had quite the line of fellows ready to follow her every call. It was almost like she was a completely different person when she was with me. In classes, she was the same reserved, quiet beauty, but one step out of the class and she was the firecat I had known her to be. Kinda hard to think of little Leah as a wild woman?"

"I never knew her to be like that."

"And I suppose if I had met her around this time, I would never have thought it possible of her either," Jay shrugged. "I loved the girl to death then, and I still do today. Not sure what made her decline. After college, I was so sure she would go off to graduate school. We were all so sure she would. She had some full scholarship somewhere, I never was good with remembering anything related to school, and she surprised everyone when she decline.d We all thought of her as a party gal, but we knew she was more of the studious one. Naturally, we all questioned her decision and asked her what her plans were from here, if not to pursue more books. I'm not sure if she just broke under the pressure or what happened, but from there, she just went downhill. She was living with a friendat first andplanning on moving back in with her mom, but then met Mrs. Hendrickson and the lady was too much of a doll to resist. Leah moved in with her, and has been living with her since. She's the world's grandmother, and if you meet her you'll understand why she got such a rep.

"For a month or so no one got word from Leah. She became such a stranger to the world that most of her men from college let her go. Personally, if I were a man, I would think Leah would be worth the world to wait for. I guess that's what went through Will's head, at least."

"Will?" Ethan's heart stopped at mention of another man in Leah's life. "Is he… together with Leah?"

"Oh…" Jay laughed. "No, honey, sorry to make your poor love-filled heart stop for a moment thinking Leah had another man. She used to date him in college, and the fellow never really stopped loving her. He's been trying to be patient with her, and the poor man deserves a medal for all that he's put up with in pursuit of her. But, like every man that tries to get Leah for themselves, you just can't get her that close." Jay grinned and looked him dead center in the eyes. "I guess it's probably because the girl has been gaga for you all her life, and no fellow measures up."


	16. A New Worry

**AN:** A very short chapter, I know, but hopefully I will update soon so I don't leave you all hanging for too long. Don't forget to review and let me know what you think. I always enjoy some praise,constructive criticism, or just some signs that people are reading this.

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**Chapter 16. A New Worry**

"Mrs. Hendrickson?" Leah entered the room and found her sleeping quietly in her bed. "Of course, I come and find you sleeping and my visit spoiled."

"I would not call it spoiled."

"Will?" Leah saw him rise from a seat. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting her, of course." Will smiled. "She's grown on me, just as she does for everyone she meets, I am sure. I sat and had a chat with her until she talked herself into sleep."

"Sounds like her," Leah laughed but then covered her mouth. "We should really go into the hall. I wouldn't want to wake her."

"Always thinking about others," Will remarked, holding the door open for her.

"Has she… is she getting better?"

"Yes, I talked to the doctors, and the shock of it all is fading. She goes to physical therapy every afternoon now, not exactly sure why. I did not want to bombard the doctors with questions when I was not a relative of hers."

"What did you talk about?"

"About the weather and some small talk at first. But that was just a warm-up. She asked about you, for the most part."

Leah took a deep breath before asking the question she had been initially holding back.

"Will, did Mrs. Hendrickson mention meeting anyone here?" her eyes lowered. "The Gordon's child?"

"Leah…" Will reached out but she turned away.

"Please Will, I need to know."

"She said she was visited by her neighbor," Will sighed, having to obey her demand. "That the kid was a patient here at the hospital. She said the kid was looking for her brother, but apparently he was no where to be found. She didn't really say much else. Most of the time she had just been rambling on about what a sweet girl she was."

"A sweet girl?" Leah's eyes shot up. "Will, I met with the Gordon's kid, and he's a boy. He's a grown-up now. I mean, Will… he is an adult and planning to be a doctor."

"The doctors… they told me she was hallucinating," Will said it slowly, not wanting to deliver the news too fast. "They said she would probably be released now, if not for this. And they can find no cause for it."

"But, how can this be happening? How…" Leah moved into Will's arms and wrapped her arms around him, her head against his shoulder. "I do not understand."

"Well, if it's any consolation, at least she's not seeing something worse. I mean, if I had to see something that wasn't there, at least I get to have a conversation with a sweet little girl in pigtails. How terrifying could that be?"

"Pigtails?" Leah looked up at Will. "Will… did Mrs. Hendrickson give a name for the girl?"

"A name?" Will thought for a moment. "Yes, I think she mentioned about the girl explaining that she went by Abby." Leah's eyes closed to conceal the tears. "She was going on and on for so long, I don't remember everything she said. I think there was something about her brother giving her a nickname of some sorts, but I think that her full name was Abigail. I guess that would make sense… Abby is short for Abigail… Leah, you're crying."

"Will, Mrs. Hendrickson is not hallucinating."

"She's not? Why wouldn't she be? Leah, she's seeing things that aren't there. She _believes_ this girl, this Abby, is real? If that isn't hallucinating, I don't know what is. Unless she decided to lie and play us as fools…"

"She is _not _lying. Abigail… she's real."

"Real? Leah, no one enters Mrs. Hendrickson's room excepts the doctors, nurses, and visitors like you and me. She _must_ be seeing things or lying."

"If she is some schizophrenic, so am I."

"Leah, you're not making sense." Will held her out and stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Will, I know Abigail." Leah opened her eyes and the tears cascaded down her cheeks. "I saw her just the other day and talked with her. It wouldn't make sense that Mrs. Hendrickson is seeing the same thing as me, and that we were _both _hallucinating the very same person."

"Oh God, Leah."

* * *

"Leah?" Ethan walked back to the foyer when he heard the door open slowly. "How did your visit…"

"Ethan," Leah gave him a smile. "This is Will."

"So you are Will," Ethan provided him with a wan smile and held out a hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard very good things about you."

"About me?" Will laughed. "I hear the same about you. It's about time I met the man who does our Leah so much good."

"How did your visit go?" Ethan inquired. "Is Mrs. Hendrickson improving as we all prayed?"

"I'm not sure, to tell you the truth." Leah walked past him and sat down at the table. "Oh my, Ethan! Did you honestly cook all this?"

"I receive great pleasure in cooking," Ethan went to the cabinets and retrieved some plates. "And I thought you would like something to eat when you returned from the hospital. Being there can drain a lot from a person."

"I could not have said it better myself," Leah commented as she filled up her plate.

"You really are as good as I have heard," Will patted Ethan on the back. "I have never seen her pig out like this in so long."

"Well, you aren't going to leave me here, eating in front of you all day, are you?" Leah questioned. "Come sit down now and help me devour this food."

And, together the three sat at the table, enjoying the heavenly food, courtesy of Ethan, and putting aside all the worry, troubles, and fears that had been residing in them all morning for later on in the day.


	17. First Arguments

**Chapter 17. First Arguments**

"So what do you think of Will?" Leah inquired Ethanafter Will hadleft, leaving the sink piled high with dishes.

"I can tell why you like him," Ethan tried to not allow jealousy to show through. "He seems to be good for you."

"Yeah, he's a great friend." Ethan smiled at the word. "He's always been there these past years. It's nice to know I have someone out there watching out for me."

"You are lucky to have such friendships."

"Well, how about yourself?" Leah snapped on a pair of yellow rubber gloves and handed some to Ethan. "We'll be here awhile cleaning these dishes, so might as well spill your life story so far to me. How is everyone at home?"

"Good as ever," Ethan fumbled with the dishes at first. "I am not sure what is left to tell you. You already know Charity is married and has a son. Each day is much the same. Working in the fields, time with the family, afternoons with Martha…"

"Is Martha Dewberry still waiting for you at home?" Leah had to ask it.

"She will always be waiting for me. It is to be expected of our engagement."

"Oh."

"You need not worry about Martha, Leah."

"Worry? Me?" Leah laughed in discomfort."There's too much for me to worry about without thinking about your fiancé, Ethan."

"Fiancé?"

"Fancy word for the person you're engaged to."

"I am not engaged to Martha."

"But isn't it pretty much the same thing? They're expecting you to come home and marry her. She's probably sitting up at the alter as we speak."

"It matters not what she is doing, Leah. Martha means nothing compared to you."

"So where do we go from here?" Leah asked softly, her face still flushed with previous jealousy. "Do you plan on staying here forever or are you planning to hitch the next bus ride back home and out of my life again?"

"I don't know," Ethan replied with an equalhush. "I just know that whatever it may be, I cannot have you out of my life again, Leah."

"Ethan, whatever your choice may be, I hope you make it soon." Leah looked up at him and felt herself tremble. "Before I get completely used to you always being there."

"If I had the choice, it would always be like that." Ethan pulled her close and soap suds ran down Leah's back.

"Wasn't the choice always yours?" Leah became rigid.

"It is more complicated than that."

"I don't understand. I mean, you could live with me. We could both go to college together. How much simpler could it get?"

"Leah, I must leave my family behind…"

"I just don't get it, Ethan." Leah interrupted and broke away from him. "We could have everything, and yet you are willing to give it up so you can stay with your parents all your life?"

"It would be nothing if I never saw them again." Ethan tried to explain."I am nothing without my family."

"So what we have is nothing, Ethan?"Ethan cringed at the hurt in her voice."_I _am nothing?"

"No, Leah, I would never mean…"

"I think that is _exactly _what you mean," Leah responded firmly. "You don't want to leave your family because they mean _so_ much to you, but that surely wouldn't be the case if you left _me_."

"Leah, that is not what I…"

"That is _exactly_ what you are saying, Ethan!" tears formed in her eyes. "I mean, I guess it all makes sense now. I doubt you ever felt such _nothingness_ when you left me the first time. Why would the second time bring about anything more than before?"

"Leah, it hurt me so much to leave you before."

"And yet now you would rather do it again than leave your family behind for me?" Leah shook her head. "No, Ethan, I really don't want to hear anymore tonight from you. You sound more like the scum that men around here are like. I do not even recognize you anymore."

"Leah…" Ethan gave up with a sigh when she turned her back and proceeded on with washing the dishes. "Good night."

* * *

Jay drove twenty miles above the speed limit hurrying to Leah's house. Lucky for her the streets were deserted for the most part, otherwise she would have probably gotten arrested for yelling and taking a swing at a cop for pulling her over for speedingand detaining her further.

She burst through the door, which was still unlocked, and found Leah in her pajamas, scrunched up on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Her face was red from tears that had dried up and ran out half-way through the morning. Hair disheveled, clothes wrinkled, and her face contorted in such wretched unhappiness, Jay could not decipher the friend she knew her as.

"Leah, darling." She cooed, holding out her arms, which Leah ran into weeping. "All men are scum. If there's one thing we must learn, it is this, and that they are not worth the tears to cry over. Come honey, tell all to Jay."

"Oh Jay, I got into my first fight with Ethan last night." Leah shook as she told Jay. "It was terrible. I was so jealous, Jay, but I can't help it. I love him. I always have. It seems unfair that we can't be together. That he is unwilling to leave his home for me. That his old life means more to him than me."

"I guess Mr Perfect isn't all that perfect," Jay remarked. "Honey, if the fool isn't willing to give all of it up for you, he isn't worth you. I bet there's not a man in all of New Albany who wouldn't be willing to go around the universe and back for you, dear."

"There is not another man that I have ever met who I could see me spending all of my life with except him. I can't lose him. I love him…"

"You're talking to the Queen of Heartbreak, if you remember." Jay sat Leah down. "Now don't you worry about him, Leah babe. Heartbreak is a common enough thing when dealing with men, and it'll pass, as everything in life does. Don't you let one scumbag bring you down. You are worth so much more than that, Leah."

"It was always him, Jay. Just when I thought I finally would be okay without him, he shows up again, and then what? I am left alone and even more torn up than before. Why did he have to walk back into my life?"

"Well, honey, this might seem a bit out of character for me, but…" Jay put a hand on Leah's shoulder. "…since this fellow decided to walk back into your life, it was the happiest I have ever seen you. Will and I talked about it, and it was amazing how much happier you truly were. I know it may not sound like much consolation, and not the usual bashing towards the opposite sexthat you get from Jay all the time, but I've dealt with true scum, and this man, Leah, treated you in a way that no other man has ever treated me. I would give the world to have a few days like that with a man as you did, and though this fellow was obviously the dumbest thing on two legs to leave you behind, at least you had these good times as well. The heartache will hurt like a mother for a bit, but you'll carry those memories with him all your life, and at least you can say you experienced that not once in your life, but twice."

"I just wish I could have him forever," Leah frowned. "These few days have been the greatest of my life with him here, but I never wanted it to end."

"The thing with men is that those good moments with them never last," Jay laughed. "But hey, you still have Jay here to party with through life. I may not be a man, but I guess a friend is the next best thing in these matters."

"Jay, you're better than that." Leah smiled and even let out a laugh. "You've been with me through it all."

"Yes, count on me to put together broken hearts, I've dealt with that enough from my own personal experience."

"Someday you'll find someone, Jay."

"Well, if the fellows nowadays can't even see the great catch in you, I'm as good as doomed."

"How can I ever stay cross with you here, Jay?" Leah placed a hand atop Jay's. "Thank you so much, Jay, for always being there. You're more than I could have ever asked for in a friend."

"Alright, enough pity parties for us," Jay stood up. "How about you doll yourself up and we'll hit the town again? I think New Albany is getting a bit lonely without the two party gals there to crash. Ready for some more time in the single lives of Jay and Leah?"

"As ready as I will ever be."

* * *

**AN: **Okay, please don't hate me for this. I promise to clear up the matter as soon as possible. I just had to toss in a bit of drama in Leah and Ethan's relationship. They are human, after all. 


	18. Hopeless Dreams

**Chapter 18. Hopeless Dreams**

Will had spent his evening at home before Jay had called, her voice as loud as the wind blowing on the highway. He had taken upon himself to a few wine coolers and had settled for a beer, watching baseball on the television downstairs. Empty rooms of his large home reminded him of his loneliness, and he guzzled down another beer before Jay came jumping up to his doorstep.

"I just thought I would steal my two favorite people in the world for a night on the town. Sound good to you?"

"Anything is better than what I have been doing."

"God, did you decide to wash your mouth with alcohol?" Jay reached into her purse. "Check some gum or something. You smell terrible, and I doubt that's the impression you want to give Leah when she's in total rebound.'

"Rebound?"

"That was the good news I was trying to tell you on the way over here before I gave up, honey." Jay laughed. "But of course you were too heartbroken then to pay attention to anything old Jay might possibly have to tell you. Well, Mr. Heartbreak, this perfect fellow of Leah's took it upon himself to take the fastest train out of here, and left poor Leah to her lonesome. She is upset, depressed, and in need of some major fun."

"That doesn't sound like good news to me."

"No? Well, dear, did it ever occur to you that perhaps this would be the golden opportunity to finally win Leah over and have her realize that the Mr. Perfect in her life was here all along?"

"I cannot think of romance when Leah's feeling so down."

"Now _that_ is when you can tell a fellow is in love," Jay shook her head with another laugh. "Alright, how about we go and join our Ms. Leah Lewis-Hall before she spends the entire night in the passenger seat of my car."

"We haven't been talking too long, have we?"

"Or… better yet… how about she takes the passenger seat of your own brand-spanking new speed machine?"

"My new viper?" Will took a deep breath. "I just got it yesterday."

"I'm sure mommy and daddy would like to know their little boy is putting all his money's worth into the car."

"I've been drinking all night. I cannot afford to drink after…"

"My Lord, when did you become so responsible?" Jay rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll drive, but at least if you drive, you would have Leah sitting next to you the entire night. It gets pretty lonely in the back seat."

"Okay, I'll drive."

Though Will knew his alcohol intake would do little to nothing to impair his driving skills since he had developed an iron stomach in drinking from a young age, he could not help swerving as he stole glances at Leah. She sat with a solemn silence that seemed to preserve her beauty in time. Jay had convinced her to change into the traditionally little black dress, a halter top that exposed a good deal of her skin and showed off her fair complexion. She wore no make-up, but the passing streetlights cast a glow across her skin that no amount of shimmer or glitter might portray. Had he not been driving, he would have reached over and touched her, to ensure that she was not some statue of an angel or a goddess, some surreal, celestial being that might vanish before his very eyes. As rigid as she stood, her eyes cast her face in a softness that made her seem fragile, as if the slightest flutter of a touch might shatter her into pieces on the floor.

"Where are we going, Jay?" Will asked, unable to acknowledge Leah. "I have been driving down the main road for five minutes, and I don't have a clue where I'm going."

"I heard there was supposed to be some local band having a gig at the park?" Jay suggested with a twisted smile. "Leah is a fan of parks. Did you know that?"

"If I didn't before, now you've told me." Will took in a breath, remembering his last visit when he had spied on Leah and Ethan. "I guess we're going to the park tonight. Hope you're up to it."

"Always, you stud." Jay laughed. "It'll be just like old times! The two wild girls out into the night! I guess it's great to know we're still looking fabulous, if I may point that out."

"You okay, Leah?" Will suggested, when Leah continued her gaze ahead, unmoved by Jay's remarks. "If you would rather we do something else, you just have to tell me and I'll turn around."

"No," she turned slightly and gave him a weak smile, sucking in her lips so she appeared more fragile than before. "It sounds like a plan. I'll be fine."

The band was called Last Dance, and the concert had started half an hour before Leah, Will, and Jay had arrived. The crowd was composed mainly of older teenagers who needed an excuse to get out of the house and meet up with friends. The older crowd had faded to the edges and were congregating together, eating food or flirting.

"Can you believe all the people?" Jay bounced with excitement. "Alright, as much as I love you two, there's some lookers over there that are gazing my way, and I don't want to neglect them for too long. You guys okay with me going off and having some fun?"

"I wouldn't want to be the one to deny you that, Jay." Will answered.

"That's why I love you both so much," Jay laughed and walked over to a group of five men whose smiles widened the closer she came.

"I guess we can always count on Jay to seize the moment," Will shrugged and frowned at how Leah remained unresponsive, her head lowered in sadness. "Leah, would you like to go for a walk?"

"A walk?" she looked up briefly. "Didn't we come here for the band?"

"Jay came here to meet some men," Will answered. "_I _came here as an excuse to be with you."

"Oh, Will…" Leah closed her eyes. "We can't."

"I did not come here to hook up with you, and you have my word that I am not going to put any moves on you. I came here because you are upset and I know that being in nature calms you. It would be selfish of me to think that getting you alone would have you pounce on me for a rebound. I have more respect for you than that, Leah. I hope you realize that."

"I'm sorry," Leah wrapped her arms around Will and trembled. "I just can't believe he's gone."

Leah walked beside Will down the dirt path of the park. The dark forests that surrounded the vicinity appeared like black voids at night, and the random lampposts that were scattered far apart cast flickering lights on the dew of the grass, providing faint illumination. Will watched the shadows that passed over Leah's face and not even his want to have her for himself could surpass his genuine concern towards her well-being. Walking alongside him, her eyes lowered as if she has accepted her inevitable fate, Leah appeared defeated. There was no denying how fragile she was, and he feared she would come crashing down before his eyes with every step she took.

"Does the lake look beautiful?" Will stopped and turned towards the lake, which he had thought, as a boy, as a grand ocean. "It is not as big as I had once thought. It's actually kind of small, if you think about it."

"I took Ethan here," Leah sat on the ground, her chin resting upon her knees. "It had been so perfect, watching the lake and just talking about us. That day I could picture us doing that for the rest of our lives. Walking through the park and watching the sun set over the lake. I would do that with him until the day I die, and the magic would never go away. I could just tell then…" Leah sighed. "But I guess I was the only one who felt like that."

"The man must not be that smart, Leah, if he let you go." Will sat next to her. "I cannot imagine another woman out there in the world that is as perfect as you."

"I am far from perfect, Will." Leah shook her head, her eyes fixated upon the lake. "I don't think there's a moment that passes by where I am anything relatively close to being perfect."

"You're as close to perfection as they come," Will responded. "Leah, let me help you."

"I cannot even help myself," Leah laughed dryly. "I am sitting here, heartbroken from some guy that I should've known would do this to me. I mean, he had done it once, so why should it surprise me that he would do it again? And then, men are the least of my worries. I was already in a hole before Ethan came. It was stupid of me to dig it deeper."

"We do stupid things when we are in love," Will shrugged. "This guy is just one of those jerks out there not worth your tears. Don't be too upset over him, Leah. He never deserved you."

"You know, Will, I am always count on you being there." Leah turned to him and smiled.

"Damn right you can. And don't you forget about that."

"You've put up with me through my ups and downs, and lately there have been not many moments of high spirits."

"But I enjoy the bumpy roads when they come if we share them together."

"I wish Ethan was half as determined as you to stick by me."

"The fellow is dumb as a rock, Leah, if he leaves you like that."

"I wish I could find someone that wouldn't hurt me like that again. I feel so stupid for putting myself through it every time. Why am I always left like this?"

"Left like what, Leah?"

"Left to be alone."

"But you're not alone, Leah."

"I was just left alone, Will. Did you miss that part of my day?"

"I'm with you, Leah."

"Oh Will…"

"I will always be there for you, Leah."

"Will, I…"

"Why can't you have me?" Will questioned. "I know I must be an ass right now, pushing myself towards you right now, but I need to know. I need to know why I will never be good enough for you."

"Will, you are more than good enough."

"Then why can't I ever have you?"

"Because I will never be good enough."

"Good enough? Leah, you're all that I could ever ask for in this world. All that I can hope to have in my life."

"Will, there is so much out there that is greater than me."

"None that I have ever encountered, and none which I wish to ever know, Leah. You are all that I have ever wanted."

"Will, you don't know what you're saying."

"I know damn well what I'm saying, Leah, and I'm saying that I love you." Will stopped there for a moment, unable to believe he said it, until he decided there was no use in withholding his feelings any longer. "I've always loved you. I mean, I could wait my entire lifetime for you, Leah. I will sit on the sideline and watch every guy that enters your life eat you and spit you out because they are all clueless and unable to realize how great you truly are. I will help you put yourself back together. But, please, Leah, don't you think that I never loved you. That is all I ask."

"Why do you tell me this, Will?" the tears in her eyes were accentuated by the light the lit them up. "Why, on the day that Ethan leaves me, must you tell me all this?"

"Because, Leah, I want you to know that there are better men out there than the likes of him." Will answered. "I want you to know that I am willing to wait for you. That you can always count on me being there because I never want to let you go."

"Will, I do not deserve you."

"Never say that, Leah, when you are the greatest thing life has to offer me!" Will replied angrily. "Leah, why can't we be together? Why must we go through life side by side alone when we can just be together and enjoy one another's company? Why must we be indifferent acquaintances?"

"But I do love you, Will."

"Not in the way that I want, Leah. Never in that way."

"I don't understand why you love me."

"Can't you see why?" Will looked into her eyes. "Leah, you are unlike any woman I have ever met. You have captivated me from the first moment I met you. Nothing in my life brought me as much happiness as my time with you, spent with you, when we dated. I love that there is more to you than what people thought you to be. I hope you know that there is more to me as well. When we broke up, I knew I would never be happy unless we were together again. Why can't we be together?"

"Will, please don't ask it of me."

"I don't even need to ask," Will stood up and looked down at her. "I know the answer already."


	19. Abrupt Decisions

**Chapter 19. Abrupt Decisions**

It had been an excruciating ride home, but Ethan Longacre had made it. His small bag of clothes from when he was at Leah's was packed away, and he stood in front of his home in his Amish clothing. It had been awhile since last he wore them, and he felt awkward in the cloth that he had been accustomed to all of his life.

"Ethan?" Nathan stood before him, a young boy of eight. "Ethan!"

His brother wrapped his arms around him, and Ethan could smell the fields on him. Dirt marked his youthful face, and Ethan smiled down at him, remembering his youngest sibling to be only a baby when he had first met Leah.

Leah. He could not believe he had been able to gather his things up and leave her. It had seemed impossible, and that word passed through his mind as he packed his belongings, walked to the bus stop, boarded the train, and walked down to his home. Impossible that he could ever leave Leah once he had had her back in his life. But this had to be done. He could not abandon his family. They were all that he was, and he could not condemn himself to the life that Eli had lived.

"Ethan," Charity stood from where she sat in a chair at the long table that his entire family sat. "We were not expecting you."

All of their eyes were upon him, but all that Ethan could see were the stern eyes of his father. Dark eyes that seemed further accentuated by his beard of the same hue. The word that had haunted Ethan to depart now seemed tangible upon his father's lips, waiting to escape and be hauled towards him. Verboten. He knew that after leaving, that was all that he would be to them.

"We were not expecting you would ever come."

Charity placed a hand on him and led him to rest at the table. He placed his hands in his hair and lowered his head, awaiting the words he knew must come.

"Ethan," his father's voice was directed his way. "Do look up when you are spoken to."

"Yes, papa." Ethan looked up, humiliation present across his face.

"Where have you been? Charity spoke of you leaving us for that girl, that English girl who…"

"Papa, please listen…"

"Do you think it wise to run into the arms of another woman, an English woman, when you are to marry Martha!"

"Please…" Ethan's mother interrupted her husband's anger. "Allow Ethan to speak for himself."

"Papa," Ethan took a breath to think of how to begin. "I love Leah."

"You cannot love this girl!"

"I thought I could marry Martha," Ethan took another breath before he could find his voice again. "I thought I might not feel for Leah what I had before, but this feeling would not leave me. I prayed for years that it might leave me, and that I might feel that for Martha, but that would never happen, papa. Could you blame me for what my soul feels?"

"It is not our way, Ethan, to go and marry an English girl." Even Mr. Longacre could not deny the desperation of his son, and his voice softened in understanding. "She is not accustomed to our life, and she will never be Amish. There is no other way."

"If it is such a simple thing you ask of me, papa, why do I find it so hard of me to obey it?" Ethan's hands ran through his hair again. "Why is it so difficult to not accept that which you have just told me and marry Martha? Why can I not will myself to do it?"

"Papa, is there no other way?" Charity begged. "It has been so long, and yet he stills feels the same. Can there be punishment for such a love?"

"I had to see for myself," Ethan sighed. "I was weak, but I had to see her. Had to see if what was there before might still be there for her as well. I had saw her at the hospital, and I knew that I would never find peace if I did not confront her. I had abandoned her without thought or reason before. I was frightened. I do not want to be Eli to you, papa. I do not wish to inflict such pain on my family a second time."

"Ethan!" his mother stood and hugged her son. "We put so much upon your shoulders to bear. My son, the weight we have placed upon you!"

"It's alright," Ethan returned the warm embrace. "I am glad only to be home with my family."

"Ethan," reality interrupted the comfort Ethan had just received as his father spoke again. "What now will you do?"

"Papa, Leah needs me." He saw his mother sit and begin to weep. "I do not wish to depart from my family, but I cannot separate myself from her again. I cannot inflict such pain upon her."

"So, instead, you should hurt your family?"

"Papa, I love her!"

"And you do not love us?"

"How can you speak to me like this, and expect me to choose?" Ethan cried desperately. "You cannot understand the pain that it causes me to stand and tell you this. You cannot understand the pain that I have bore since I have left her years before, and the pain I receive in knowing that by leaving her right now, I cause her even more pain. How much must I endure, papa, before you are satisfied?"

"I did not place this burden upon you."

"It is the burden of my heart, papa, and though my mind speaks for me to stay here, my heart wishes for me to go elsewhere. Are we not to be governed by our heart, or have I learned nothing?"

"Do you know what you do?"

"I know that you shall have no choice if I decide to leave today," Ethan answered. "I know that if I leave today, I shall be verboten. You shall speak not of me, and I shall be as one dead to this family. I will be forbidden to speak of and it will be as if all that I have endured, all that I have done for this family for over twenty years, will have never occurred. That is the way of our people."

"Ethan…"

"That is my choice," Ethan stepped back so that he could see all of the faces of his family. "You may choose to forget of me, and to live as if I have not touched your lives, but I shall not forget of you. All that you have given me, I shall carry within me, and my memories here will rest with me in my grave"  
"Ethan," Charity hugged her brother and whispered. "You are not dead to me."

Not another word was spoken as Ethan exited his home. From outside, Ethan could hear his mother weeping, but as he walked up the street to the train station, all that he could take with him was the gaze of his father as he left, who looked at him as if he were a ghost of one long dead.

* * *

"So do you think that was enough of a party for one night, Leah?" Jay asked when they stumbled into Leah's home. "Wow, I almost forgot what it was like to not be able to feel your feet!"

Jay leaned against the door and struggled to free her feet from her heels, and sunk to the floor with a sigh of contentment when she was released from its binding. She let out of a boisterous laugh and looked up to find that Leah had left her alone in the entrance.

"By your overflowing enthusiasm at this moment, it seems like you had the night of your life." Jay remarked sarcastically as she found Leah crouched in front of the fireplace, trying to light it. "Was it too soon to try and relive college life again?"

"Will tried to make a move on me, Jay."

"Oh…" Jay moved the coffee table so she could rest her feet on it as she sprawled out on the couch. "…I see."

"Did you suspect he would do this?" Leah turned. "Did you know that he would try and leap upon the opportunity that, perhaps, I was in rebound less than twenty-four hours after the love of my life leaves me stranded this very morning? Was that why you were so persistent in him joining us?"

"Leah, honey…"

"Jay, for once just answer the question."

"Could you honestly blame me for trying to help the poor man out?"

"Jay…"

"No, Leah, I think it's about time you heard my two cents on the situation." Jay sat up now, and the tease in her eyes left. "Will is a good guy, Leah. No, Will is better than good. He is the greatest guy that a gal could ever wish to have. I would know. I've dated practically every guy on the planet by now, and the remaining guys will probably come before I die. I mean, not only do you have the world's greatest guy at your feet, Leah, but you've had him ever since he first saw you in college! He's been with you through it all, and yet he stays, even after the wild woman I first met had left the building and you are now in desperate need for some anti-depressants. I mean, perhaps you should give the guy a chance. You've been fawning over lover-boy for far too long. I mean, as great as the guy may seem when he's around, how many times are you going to let him walk out of your life and break your heart?"

"I know, Jay." Leah lowered her head. "Believe me, I know."

"Yeah… sure, honey."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Sorry if I'm not convinced when you have said you would give will a chance ever since you broke up with him."

"Alright, how about I give him a call and we can decide from there what we do about it?"

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

Night had past long before Ethan had walked in front of Mrs. Hendrickson's home, where an angry Leah would likely greet him. The day had paid its toll on him, but in the end he knew it to be the right decision. No amount of pain that had occurred during his absence could surpass the joy he knew he would receive at telling Leah that they were finally free to be together. He was so enraptured in the happiness soon to come, that he had not taken notice of the cars that lined up across the street.

"Lover boy?" Jay raised an eyebrow when she tossed open the door. "What a surprise that you would show up…"

"Have I… missed something?" music blared past the door, and he could already see streamers and balloons stretched scattered throughout the house. "Has Mrs. Hendrickson returned home from the hospital?"

"Oh… no… she's not doing any better, unfortunately." Jay held open the door and allowed for him to walk in. "Sorry for the crowd, it's a big day."

"A big day?" Ethan felt uncomfortable with all of the eyes pasted upon him. "What has happened?"

"What?" Jay led him into the dining room, where he saw Jay stand abruptly from where she sat besides Will. "Hey Leah, how about you tell lover boy the good news?"

"Leah, what news?" Jay headed to the stereo, where the volume for the music was placed on mute. "Am I missing something? What happened?"

"Ethan…" Leah took a breath. "I…"

"It's okay, Leah…" Will placed a hand on her shoulder and allowed for her to sit, where Leah grew only fainter. "Ethan, congratulations are definitely in order."

"Congratulations…"

"Yes, Leah and I…"

"Please," Ethan interrupted Will. "I need to hear it from Leah, please."

"I'm so sorry, Ethan." Leah turned briefly to reveal the tears that had fallen. "I… I just can't always wait for you to make a decision over us. It's been tearing me up. But Will, he already knows. He has already decided. I never wanted to hurt you, or to tell you like this, but Will and I… we're engaged."

Though the music returned just as loud, and the party progressed in its usual jollity and merriment, no such sentiments passed through Leah and Ethan. Ethan quickly departed for the outdoors, where he might receive some time to think of his current situation, and Leah sat in the room full of people, just as alone as if she were outside by herself as Ethan was.


	20. Learning Confidence

**AN: **So I know I left this story as forgotten for quite some time, but I missed this story way too much to leave it unfinished. So sorry to keep everyone waiting, and I will do my best to keep this going and not abandon it again.

* * *

**Chapter 20. Learning Confidence**

_"Leah?" Will emerged from his car, looking at where Lee sat on a bench at the park waiting for him. "What's going on? Why'd you call? Is everything alright?"_

_"Everything's fine, Will." Lee waited until Will had sat down next to her on the bench before she continued. "It's just, I've had some time to think about you and me, and I'm sorry for everything that happened."_

_"Sorry?" Will raised an eyebrow, confusion etched on his face. "Leah, you don't have to apologize for anything. There's no hard feelings whatsoever."_

_"I never understood why you thought I was so great," Lee confessed._

_"Because it's the truth." Will's voice held no humor. "And I know you don't see it. Quite frankly the only reason I feel like you are so blind-sighted is because that Ethan-guy doesn't see it. Or maybe he does, but he does a hell of a bad job showing it, or treating you with the greatness you deserve. But, Leah, it's about time you acknowledged this and moved on already."_

_"I wanted to believe I was something to him..."_

_"Please don't settle on being just 'something' to someone, when you can be everything to someone else." Will sighed, and reached out to grasp her hand. "Leah, believe in what I'm saying. I know you don't want to be with me-I understand that now-but please believe what I'm saying about this."_

_Silence passed between the two as they both looked down, as if acknowledging what Will said was the truth. Leah tried not to cry, lost between thoughts of Ethan and Will. Why couldn't Ethan be the man to say these words? Why couldn't he have been the one by her side through the years, holding her hand, comforting her, helping her grow and mature? _

_When Leah looked up at Will, there were no tears in her eyes. His round blue orbs gazed down at hers and appeared so large, so inviting to her, full of a sincerity that was hard to ignore or deny. She wondered why things with them never worked out. Will had been an amazing boyfriend when they were together, so attentive, understanding, loving. People had asked, Will had asked, what had gone wrong and the truth was nothing did. He had never faltered, and never been shy of perfection. The truth was, Will was not Ethan, and every great thing he did was a reminder that Ethan would not do the same for her. The thought tore Leah apart so much that she could never fully appreciate how amazing Will was to her. When she realized that, she did not feel right being together anymore. If that was how she thought, she knew she was not ready for a relationship until she worked this out with herself first._

_"I would not be so sure of that." Leah broke the silence, pausing as she considered every word she uttered. "Will, I appreciate your patience. I appreciate everything that you have done for me. Even though we were not technically together, in a way I feel like we were through these years. I could always count on you."_

_"You know I would do anything for you, Leah," Will answered._

_"I'm sorry I broke things off with no explanation," Leah shook her head. "I don't even think I myself fully understood why I did the things I did."_

_"Yes, you did." Will replied frankly. "You still loved Ethan, and you weren't ready to let that go."_

_"Every time you did something for me. Every time you went out of your way or were accommodating or proved time and time again that you would always be there, it reminded me of how Ethan couldn't do it for me. He wouldn't do it for me." A few tears cascaded down Leah's face as she said it out loud. "It was the wrong way to think about things, but I couldn't help it."_

_"The guy might have been great once upon a time, Leah, but please realize he can't give you what you want. What you need."_

_"But why? Why couldn't I have been enough? What am I missing?"_

_"_Never _think like that." Will placed his hands firmly on Leah's shoulders, his voice serious. "His inability to see what a wonderful person you are is only a reflection of what he's missing as a person, not you. Never you. Leah, you _are _worth it. Everyone who meets you thinks you are nothing short of amazing, and that's because it's the truth. You are a beautiful person, and you are worth every effort in the world to win over."_

_"Why are you so good to me, Will?" Leah looked down at where his hands rested on her shoulders, and she placed her hands over his before looking back at him. "How can you be so patient with me when I am so lost and frustrating? I drive myself crazy, so I can only imagine how I am to everyone else."_

_"Do you really have to ask, Leah?" Will chuckled. "You might be lost or frustrating or whatever you would like to call it, but you will always be worth it to me. I would do anything for you, whether it's driving you and Jay around to the latest party or event, or coming to meet up with you at ungodly hours of the night to talk about some other guy."_

_"You don't have to be so nice." _

_Lee smiled, and Will felt his stomach tighten at how such a small gesture could light up her whole face._

_"God, you are beautiful." It took all of Will's will-power not to pull Leah into his arms and embrace her fully right then. "Leah, I would wait for you forever, if only for the chance for you to consider me."_

_Will's heart beat furiously as Leah leaned forward, pressing her body against his as she curled up against him. Her body's warmth made his own feel flushed and hot, and he noted how perfect it felt, as if their bodies were meant to be molded beside the other. They sat like that for a few minutes, neither saying a word, until Leah lifted her head and looked up at him. Will moved slowly, cupping a soft cheek, and smiled before he leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on her forehead. He saw her exhale slowly and close her eyes, and he proceeded to kiss her eyelids, taking ample time in case she wanted him to stop._

_Her disapproval never came though. Her body never tensed, and instead he felt how relaxed and at ease she felt in his arms. He moved with care, as if dealing with something extremely fragile and valuable. To Will, Leah was. She was priceless, and he wanted to do everything in his power to keep her whole and happy._

_"Why won't you let me take care of you?" Will asked. "Let me give you what you deserve, Leah Lewis-Hall. I would offer you the world if I could, and if you asked I would do everything in my power to make that happen. You will never find someone as loyal or devoted."_

_"I don't want to hurt…"_

_"Leah, you couldn't hurt a fly if you tried. I would know, I've seen you let them live. I'm a big boy, and I can handle any punch you throw at me. I'll gladly take them all, so long as it means I have you in my life."_

_"I make things so difficult. Why would you want that?"_

_"Do you really need to ask me that?" Will laughed. "Leah, no amount of difficulty could push me away. I love you. I always have. I always will. You might as well call me your own because I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

_

"Ethan?"

Leah found Ethan sitting on the curb in front of Mrs. Hendrickson's house, his head downcast.

"Leah, you should not be out here." Ethan looked up at her and tried to contain himself. "You have guests here to celebrate with you. You should be with Will. He will wonder where you have gone."

"I told Will I was stepping outside to see you," Leah replied. "I've always been honest with him, and I have nothing to hide from him now. Why are you here, Ethan?"

"I…" Ethan paused, thinking about how he should answer. "I left because I needed time to think about what I planned to do with my life. I have spent many years pondering this question."

"Ethan, I know I was not enough for you." Leah's voice was devoid of emotion as she said this. "I understand and accept this now. It took me awhile, but I've came to terms with it and realize I need to move on from my girlhood fantasies. We're both adults now, and I shouldn't be upset over something not working out years ago. You don't need to explain why I wasn't enough. I know family means the world to you."

"Yes, my family means a lot." Ethan felt flustered at how Leah responded, and he took to heart what she said. "But I need to make my own. I would like to be more than just what my family expects from me. I would like to live for myself. I left home, Leah."

"…left?" Leah tried not to show her surprise. "You left your family?"

"I knew I did not belong; I think I always knew, but I was scared of losing everything - at least everything that I had grown up with." Ethan explained. "But I would like more. I would like the chance to have more, and be more than what I would be."

"What will you do?"

"I am not sure," Ethan sighed. "I have no plan, unfortunately. This has been ill-thought out, I'm afraid."

"Well, if you need a place to stay, you are always welcome here." Leah invited. "Mrs. Hendrickson is more than happy to help out, and you know I will do all I can as well."

"Leah, I could not ask that of you."

"You don't need to; I'm offering." Leah smiled. "Let me help. At least until you get on your own two feet."

"You have your own life to think about. You have a wedding to plan…"

"You have no where to go, Ethan. I'm not going to let you roam the streets."

"I couldn't possibly…"

"You're a very talented person, Ethan. I'm sure it wouldn't take you that long to be able to stand on your own."

"Would you… would you mind this?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't say otherwise."

"I… never congratulated you on your engagement, Lee." Ethan smiled wanly at her. "I am very happy for you."

"Thank you, Ethan." Leah ignored the ache in her heart as she said it. "Will has always been there for me."

"Yes, he has." Ethan agreed, though it hurt to.

"Well, we should get inside." Leah held out a hand, which Ethan took. "I'll let Will know what's going on, but I'm sure he'll be okay with it."

"Will is a lucky man." Ethan commented, trying not to sound too broken.

"Yes," Leah looked him in the eye seriously, believing it for once. "He is."


End file.
